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More and more people are relying on the private cars as their major means of transportation. Describe the problems and solution.

More and more people are relying on the private cars as their major means of transportation. Describe the problems and solution. pejEd
In modern era every people use their own means of transport. This is due to the tremendously increase in the development of technology. It causes traffic congestion and pollution all over the world. However, the use of public transport is one of the solution to deal with this issue. Firstly, overuse of private cars lead to traffic congestion. If every person own private means of transport their will be lot of traffic. For instance, in cities it is often seen traffic jams for more than a hour which will make people stress and frustrate. Moreover, the sound pollution increases. Furthermore, more vehicle mean more pollution. The different gases produced from motor car leads to air pollution which cause various health problems. For example, respiratory diseases like asthma and so on. They not only cause pollution but deplete ozone layer too. In contrast, following problems can be solved by the use of public transport. The government as well as public should stand to control the private transportation. To recapitulate, traffic congestion and pollution are the major problems of extensive use of private cars. Hence, the use of public transport is the way to resolve the problems.
In modern era every
people
use
their
own
means of
transport
. This is due to the
tremendously
increase in the development of technology. It causes
traffic
congestion and
pollution
all over the world.
However
, the
use
of
public
transport
is one of the solution to deal with this issue.

Firstly
, overuse of
private
cars lead to
traffic
congestion.
If
every person
own
private
means of
transport
their will be
lot of
traffic
.
For instance
, in cities it is
often
seen
traffic
jams for more than
a
hour which will
make
people
stress
and frustrate.
Moreover
, the sound
pollution
increases.

Furthermore
, more vehicle mean more
pollution
. The
different
gases produced from motor car leads to air
pollution
which cause various health
problems
.
For example
, respiratory diseases like asthma and
so
on. They not
only
cause
pollution
but
deplete ozone layer too.

In contrast
, following
problems
can
be solved
by the
use
of
public
transport
. The
government
as well
as
public
should stand to control the
private
transportation.

To recapitulate,
traffic
congestion and
pollution
are the major
problems
of extensive
use
of
private
cars.
Hence
, the
use
of
public
transport
is the way to resolve the
problems
.
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IELTS essay More and more people are relying on the private cars as their major means of transportation. Describe the problems and solution.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
195 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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