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Today, in many countries there is ensufficient respect for old people. What are the reasons how can this social economic problem dissolves?

Today, in many countries there is ensufficient respect for old people. What are the reasons how can this social economic problem dissolves? BLVB9
Most of people does not able to respect of old people in other countries. so I give problems and solutions in the following paragraph. To begin with. There are plenty of reasons that youngsters can not respect for older because They have feel shy to other and they seems that their reputation is decrease in front of older. Furthermore, youngsters who believe that standing beside of elders. What about think other masses. So, lots of adults insult their elder as if They are nothing for them. A part from this. Old people who think of their generation and behave strictly. Some older keep restriction on their community. They belief that If their children live independent, then their community what about think as society has rules and regulation. Although Numerous of youngest use to addiction such as drinks, gambling, and So on. since they want to live freedom without any restriction. There are main reason that older do not provide good manners. If some youngers have to business, then they have arrogance and insult their older. On the other hand, When children is little, parents should provide good manners and how to behave in front of their elders and is parents responsibility. but there are maintain environment in their house. If older has not limit and rude behave, then their offspring learn it. In recapitulation, According to me, We must create good environment in front of Juveniles as well as give good manners in their childhood.
Most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
does not able to respect of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.
Use a comma before 'so' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so
I give problems and solutions in the following paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons that youngsters can not respect for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
They have feel shy to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
other and
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "seem"
seems
that their reputation is decrease in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
.
Furthermore
, youngsters who believe that standing beside of elders. What about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
masses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, lots of adults insult their elder as if They are nothing for them. A part from this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of their generation and behave
strictly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
restriction on their community. They
Did you mean "believe" (verb) instead of belief (noun)?
belief
that If their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independent, then their community what about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
as society has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation. Although Numerous of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the youngest".
youngest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to addiction such as drinks, gambling, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
on. since they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
freedom without any restriction. There are main reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
do not provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
business, then they have arrogance and insult their older.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, When children
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "am", "are", "aren".
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
, parents should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners and how to behave in front of their elders and is parents responsibility.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
there are
Consider using a past participle here: "maintained".
maintain
environment in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
has not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "limited".
limit
and rude behave, then their offspring learn it.

In recapitulation, According to me, We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
environment in front of Juveniles
as well
as give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners in their childhood.
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IELTS essay Today, in many countries there is ensufficient respect for old people. What are the reasons how can this social economic problem dissolves?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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