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More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer? A0Wx
Myriad of people are migrating to cities from rural areas in search of employement and money. This affects development in those outskirts cities as lesser contribution is given by people. There are number of problems that people suffer as a result of this, but we can also overcome this consequences by providing few solution. Perhaps the worst problem stemmimg from this is government providing less money to agriculture sectors. Due to that farmers and their family may suffer from few scenerios like unable to pay school fees for their children, debt, suicide, etc. Another major problem is farmers are not able to purchase advance equipments for irrigation which result into spoiling of crops due to less amount of water. However, people are also attracted to cities due to less development in villages, which include no electricity, less roads, illiteracy, etc. Turning to possible solutions, few effective measures are that government should provide subsidies for development in agribusiness and enough pay in return of vegetation. In addon, advance technology in agriculture may bring more plantation with less effort. So that robots can take place for few energy consuming works. Moreover, development in villages and giving few facilities is also helpful. Due to that, people will start giving additional importance to farming sectors. In conclude, in search for money and employement in cities, farmers may get few opportunities in their field if government helps. Also few efforts in farming regions may attract farmers back to it, and can also stop people from relocating.
Myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
from rural areas in search of
Possible spelling mistake found.
employement
and money. This affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in those outskirts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as lesser contribution is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are number of problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer
as a result
of this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can
also
overcome this
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "by". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences by
providing
Possible agreement error. The noun solution seems to be countable; consider using: "few solutions".
few solution
.

Perhaps the worst problem
Possible spelling mistake found.
stemmimg
from this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
money to agriculture sectors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
and their family may suffer from few
Possible spelling mistake found.
scenerios
like unable to pay school fees for their children, debt, suicide, etc. Another major problem is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
advance equipments for irrigation which result into spoiling of crops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
amount of water.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
attracted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in villages, which include no electricity,
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun roads is countable.
less
roads, illiteracy, etc.

Turning to possible solutions, few effective measures are that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide subsidies for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in agribusiness and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
pay in return of vegetation. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
addon
, advance technology in agriculture may bring more plantation with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
effort.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that robots can take place for few energy consuming works.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in villages and giving few facilities is
also
helpful.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
giving additional importance to farming sectors.

In conclude, in search for money and
Possible spelling mistake found.
employement
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
few opportunities in their field if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
few efforts in farming regions may attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
back to it, and can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from relocating.
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IELTS essay More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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