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More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be e the consequences of this? what solution can you offer? v.4

More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be e the consequences of this? what solution can you offer? v. 4
It is irrefutable that myriads of individuals are migrating from the rural countrysides to the metropolitan cities from various reasons. This essay would discuss the negative impacts of this migration and would propose some measures to ameliorate the situation. As more people are moving to the big cities regularly, the standard of living there is reduced because it is becoming difficult for the local authorities to provide the basic amenities to may people. For instance, the Mumbai area in India welcomes around ten thousand new migrants every day, and owing to the limited accommodation the government can provide, the slum areas have emerged in the city which is a problem because fundamental sanitation of the area is getting compromised. Additionally, it also has detrimental effects on the agricultural areas because the manpower is lowering day-by-day. As a result, it is becoming difficult for the farmers to cultivate and maintain large farmlands. If no actions are taken, it would become difficult to feed big countries like India. To improve the current situation, the government should provide better wages, opportunities and facilities such as schools, universities and hospitals in the rural areas so that people do not have to leave their lands and move to the cities in search of a better life or education. Moreover, the authorities should also regulate some rules on the number of people migrating annually from rural to the urban areas. They should decide on a threshold according to the capacity of a city to entertain the number of immigrants so that each citizen lives in a pleasant condition. In conclusion, as many people are migrating from suburbs to cities, the number of labours to work on farmland are lowering as well as cities are unable to provide them a good living condition. But these issues are not insurmountable. The issues can be resolved if the government follows the above stated idea.
It is irrefutable that myriads of individuals are migrating from the rural countrysides to the metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
from various reasons. This essay would discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of this migration and would propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to ameliorate the situation.

As more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
regularly
, the standard of living there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is becoming difficult for the local authorities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the basic amenities to may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, the Mumbai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
in India welcomes around ten thousand new migrants every day, and owing to the limited accommodation the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
, the slum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have emerged in the city which is a problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
fundamental sanitation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is getting compromised.
Additionally
, it
also
has detrimental effects on the agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the manpower is lowering day-by-day.
As a result
, it is becoming difficult for the farmers to cultivate and maintain large farmlands. If no actions
are taken
, it would become difficult to feed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
countries like India.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
better wages, opportunities and facilities such as schools, universities and hospitals in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their lands and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in search of a better life or education.
Moreover
, the authorities should
also
regulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrating
annually
from rural to the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. They should decide on a threshold according to the capacity of a city to entertain the number of immigrants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that each citizen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a pleasant condition.

In conclusion
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating from suburbs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, the number of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
to work on farmland are lowering
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
living condition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these issues are not insurmountable. The issues can
be resolved
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
follows the above stated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be e the consequences of this? what solution can you offer? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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