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Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people form using their cars? v.2

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people form using their cars? v. 2
People nowadays is living in the modern era, wherein car ownership became incredibly popular and widely use over the past few years. The writer, strongly believe that this is the cause of the traffic jam and it will discuss below the some actions or measures to help the government combat the issue. To start with, it is true that the prime reason why many cities all over the globe are facing a problem, it is because of the overwhelming number of cars in the street. Due to the development of all nations and because of the modern technology, people are becoming busier everyday due to work and other matters. As a result, they resort to their own cars and more and more individuals desire to have one. For instance, One of the doctors in Taiba hospital drive his private car daily due to his hectic schedule. Hence, it leads to convenient, but it can cause a problem in the street. However, there are some measures too, to combat or to reduce the traffic jam in many cities. The government, should implement a law that aims to limit the traffic. First, the authorities, should force each of the family to utilize one car only. Second, they should encourage all citizens to use the public transportations like bus, taxi and 3 way vehicle. Apart from that, the authorities, should implement number coding. For, instance, in Manila, Philippines, there are days that their vehicle are not allowed to use, according to the last two digits of their cars. All of these actions are a tremendous help. As a result, it helps the nature, and the vehicles were reduced. To sum up, I believe that due to the massive number of cars, many cities became congested. Although, there are some measures to curb the problem. I opine too, that the people should utilize the public transportation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
nowadays is living in the modern era, wherein
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership became
incredibly
popular and
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
over the past few years. The writer,
strongly
believe that this is the cause of the traffic jam and it will discuss below the
Did you mean "same"?
some
actions or measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
combat the issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it is true that the prime reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities all over the globe are facing a problem, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the overwhelming number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in the street.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the development of all nations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the modern technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are becoming busier everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to work and other matters.
As a result
, they resort to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and more and more individuals desire to have one.
For instance
, One of the doctors in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Taiba
hospital drive his private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to his hectic schedule.
Hence
, it leads to convenient,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can cause a problem in the street.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures too, to combat or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic jam in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, should implement a law that aims to limit the traffic.
First
, the authorities, should force each of the family to utilize one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. Second, they should encourage all citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the public transportations like bus, taxi and 3 way
Possible agreement error. The noun 'vehicle' seems to be countable, so consider using: "vehicles".
vehicle
. Apart from that, the authorities, should implement number coding. For, instance, in Manila, Philippines, there are days that their vehicle are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, according to the last two digits of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. All of these actions are a tremendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
As a result
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the nature, and the vehicles were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

To sum up, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the massive number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities became congested.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to curb the problem. I opine too, that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should utilize the public transportation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people form using their cars? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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