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More and more people are leaving countryside to city areas. Does this devlopment has more advantages than its disadvantages.

More and more people are leaving countryside to city areas. Does this devlopment has more advantages than its disadvantages. qrkX
It is true that, nowadays, due to the advancement of cities, people prefer to live in cities rather than the countryside. The disadvantages of this development is more than the advantages. To begin with, people are leaving in rural areas instead of villages because it has some benefits. Firstly, cities provide a lot of amenities such as, effective health-care, public parks and many more. Secondly, it is more beneficial for older people because there are different activities organised by various communities. Finally, cities have more places for children to play and senior citizens to feel relaxation. For instance, there are public parks where children enjoy different games and old people can do light exercises to feel relax. Despite having some benefits, there are several drawbacks. To start with, many people face the problem of accommodation in cities which creates over- population over there. In addition, they face the trouble of unemployment there and when they are unable to find jobs in cities, it causes stress. Moreover, the cost of living in cities is also very high which rebalances the people's budget to maintain their other expenses. Futhermore, the space in cities is also narrow. For instance, there are many slum areas which give birth to many issues such as, traffic jams, rush and so on. In conclusion, although, there are some benefits of living in cities, it creates a lot of problems. So, the cons of this development outweigh its pros.
It is true that, nowadays, due to the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
rather
than the countryside. The disadvantages of this development is more than the advantages. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are leaving in rural areas
instead
of villages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
amenities such as, effective health-care, public parks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Secondly
, it is more beneficial for older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
by various communities.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have more places for children to play and senior citizens to feel relaxation.
For instance
, there are public parks where children enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
games and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do light exercises to feel relax. Despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, there are several drawbacks. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face the problem of accommodation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which creates over- population over there.
In addition
, they face the trouble of unemployment there and when they are unable to find jobs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, it causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Moreover
, the cost of living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high which
Possible spelling mistake found.
rebalances
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's budget to maintain their other expenses.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, the space in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
also
narrow.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
slum areas which give birth to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues such as, traffic jams, rush and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
In conclusion
, although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, it creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the cons of this development outweigh its pros.
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IELTS essay More and more people are leaving countryside to city areas. Does this devlopment has more advantages than its disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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