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More and more people are competing for a place to study in universities. Reasons? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

More and more people are competing for a place to study in universities. Reasons? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? yY53
In today's Era, there have been drastic changes in every field due to the rapid advancement in technology. Due to the fact education field also has been immensely excelled. Along with the advancement in technology, the competition in taking admission in the renowned university has also increased in number of countries. While the level of competition can be decreased as such there are many universities, I would argue that having a certain competition among students for the admission in universities can be more beneficial. Nowadays the population is increasing at a very great pace. However, life is not a piece of cake everyone has to hustle and work hard for pursuing their goals. There are few number of universities which are well established and studying there is every student's dream. As a result, due to such significant reasons the level of competition is increasing day by day. Even though people are aware of their capabilities in such competitive environment, they tend to work hard for fulfilling their dreams. This is the most prominent effect of having a significant competition in various field. There are several instances in life where people lose all their patients and hopes due to some financial reason. Even though being capable of getting admission in any well-known university, the person is not able to get admission due to high fees of universities. For example, there are number students who are wealthy and they can afford any university for studying. As a result, the student by paying extra money gets the admission and the students which are intellectual are not getting admission. To conclude, having competition in day to day life puts a very positive impact. It encourages people to work efficiently and they remain always motivated towards their goal.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's Era, there have been drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in every field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the rapid advancement in technology.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the fact education field
also
has been
immensely
excelled. Along with the advancement in technology, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in the renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has
also
increased in number of countries.

While the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
can
be decreased
as such there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, I would argue that having a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can be more beneficial. Nowadays the population is increasing at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
great pace.
However
, life is not a piece of cake everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
hustle and work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for pursuing their goals. There are
Possible agreement error. The noun number seems to be countable; consider using: "few numbers".
few number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
which are well established and studying there is every student's dream.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to such significant reasons the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is increasing day by day.

Even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are aware of their capabilities in such competitive environment, they tend to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for fulfilling their dreams. This is the most prominent effect of having a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in various field. There are several instances in life where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lose all their patients and hopes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial reason.
Even though
being capable of getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in any well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, the person is not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to high fees of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
For example
, there are number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
wealthy and
they can afford any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
for studying.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
by paying extra money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which are intellectual are not getting admission.

To conclude
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in day to day life puts a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact. It encourages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to work
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
efficiently and
they remain always motivated towards their goal.
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IELTS essay More and more people are competing for a place to study in universities. Reasons? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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