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More and more crimes commit their deeds after being released from prison.

More and more crimes commit their deeds after being released from prison. YR32n
It is evidence that more and more criminals are related to further crimes as soon as they got released from prison. In my view, I can admit the seriousness that the government should provide heavier punishments for the offenders. On the first hand, in fact, crimes casually cause wrongdoing because they are used to it and don't attempt to make a better restart for their life. What I’m trying to say is that, people who used to have relation with crimes may find an easier way of making money or escape from poverty by robbing or blackmailing victims that got kidnapped. I understand that it is difficult to take a change of scenery and to restart for a better life now, even though they should also understand the negative impacts that they created for other peoples may not be fixed even for decades. On the other hand, for a solution, if there are some sort of repeated-crimes actions from offenders, the government could send the criminals back to prisons with longer duration and make the criminals be renovated, as giving them evidence about the negative affections that they made as for example. Last but not least, I can concede that, people that used to be criminals might want to take a new better trip for their life, then the communities should accept them and give them some chances for a restart, such as new jobs. In conclusion, criminals could recreate more or even worse actions for new crimes nowadays, however, I still believe that the government can force the offenders with some draconian laws and give opportunities to those who want to start a new life.
It is evidence that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are related
to
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
released from prison. In my view, I can admit the seriousness that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide heavier punishments for the offenders.

On the
first
hand, in fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
casually
cause wrongdoing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to it and don't attempt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better restart for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. What I’m trying to say is that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have relation with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
may find an easier way of making money or escape from poverty by robbing or blackmailing victims that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
kidnapped. I understand that it is difficult to take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of scenery and to restart for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
even though
they should
also
understand the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts that they created for other peoples may not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
even for decades.

On the other hand
, for a solution, if there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "sorts"?
sort
of repeated-crimes actions from offenders, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
back to prisons with longer duration and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
be renovated
, as giving them evidence about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
affections that they made as
for example
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, I can concede that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
might want to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
better trip for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, then the communities should accept them and give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chances for a restart, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
jobs.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
could recreate more or even worse actions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
nowadays,
however
, I
still
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can force the offenders with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Draconian".
draconian
laws and give opportunities to those who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay More and more crimes commit their deeds after being released from prison.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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