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More and more city workers are deciding to live in the country and travel into work every day

More and more city workers are deciding to live in the country and travel into work every day YL2n5
These days, a large number of people prefer living in a small town and working in a big city so they have to travel long distances into work every day using their own cars, this daily commute to work will be the source of traffic congestion as well as harmful effects to the environment. Undoubtedly ،cities provide wide range of work opportunities by contrast this is not available in the country but on the other hand high property costs are significant problem facing people who want to live in the city for instance، having a house in the city centre is out of reach in comparison with employees salaries. Furthermore air pollution caused by the greater number of vehicles is another important issue for why people leave cities in order to protect themselves from respiratory diseases. Consequently, the main responsibility for solving these problems lies with the government by creating more jobs in smaller towns which in turn reduce moving from one place to another, at the same time people should be encouraged to stay in cities by providing affordable houses to get their own home near their work place as much as possible to get to work by walking rather than devote more money using transports, improving the environment such as planting more trees and shrubs also expanding green areas which means they can breathe cleaner air, another option could be effective solution to overcome this problem is imposing tax on cars owners. To sum up، not only these solutions could tackle this issue but also there are many ways could play an important role to get rid of this situation.
These days,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town and working in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel long distances into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
every day using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars, this daily commute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will be the source of traffic congestion
as well
as harmful effects to the environment.

Undoubtedly
Possible spelling mistake found.
،cities
provide wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
opportunities by contrast this is not available in the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
high property costs are significant problem facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the city for
Possible spelling mistake found.
instance،
having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is out of reach
in comparison
with employees salaries.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
air pollution caused by the greater number of vehicles is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue for why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in order to protect themselves from respiratory diseases.

Consequently
, the main responsibility for solving these problems lies with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by creating more jobs in smaller towns which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
moving from one place to another, at the same time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be encouraged
to stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
by providing affordable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home near their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place as much as possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by walking
rather
than devote more money using transports, improving the environment such as planting more trees and shrubs
also
expanding green areas which means they can breathe cleaner air, another option could be effective solution to overcome this problem is imposing tax on cars owners.

To sum
Possible spelling mistake found.
up،
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
these solutions could tackle this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways could play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of this situation.
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IELTS essay More and more city workers are deciding to live in the country and travel into work every day

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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