Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more children as accessing the internet unsupervised and at the younger age. What the problems is it and how it can be solved

More and more children as accessing the internet unsupervised and at the younger age. What the problems is it and how it can be solved yNd5J
There are numerous topics for discussion in today society among them one such debatable issue is that accessing the internet unsupervised by the majority of children have greatest impact on children. so I shed light on some problems and suggest some remedial action to mitigate this problem. To commence with, in cutting edge era, internet has become the backbone of every nation. while, without supervision surfing the internet by children directly impact on health. in other words, if children will totally rely on internet then their body can not fully developed and children are suffered from mentally disorders. For instance, a survey was conducted by Australia 65%children, who suffer from obesity due to opt lathargic lifestyles and do not focus on other activities, and become thefts by the dint of cybercrime. thus, without supervision they follow wrong paths. On the other side, although surfing the internet without supervision by the children is a severe problem yet, it can be solved by the some remedial actions. First and foremost, government should be organised awareness campus, inspired the children to other activities such as talent shows, sports should be held on state or international levels. For instance, parents should also focus on their children whatever they want and see on internet. A newspaper headline is published in Japan 56% students take part in competition and they become scientist, engineer with the those activities in which children are interested. To conclude, even though it is a serious problem among children but if government and individual work together with join hands then society become peaceful and harmonious place to live in.
There are numerous topics for discussion in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
society among them one such debatable issue is that accessing the internet unsupervised by the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
A determiner is probably missing here: "the greatest".
greatest
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Use a comma before 'so' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so
I shed light on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remedial action to mitigate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. To commence with, in cutting edge era, internet has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the backbone of every nation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
, without supervision surfing the internet by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
directly
impact on health.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
totally
rely on internet then their body can not
fully
The verb 'can' requires base form of the verb: "develop"
developed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are suffered
from mentally disorders.
For instance
, a survey
was conducted
by Australia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
65%children
, who suffer from obesity due to opt
Possible spelling mistake found.
lathargic
lifestyles and do not focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
thefts by the dint of cybercrime.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thus
, without supervision they follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
paths. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, although surfing the internet without supervision by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is a severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
yet
, it can
be solved
by the
Did you mean "same"?
some
remedial actions.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
awareness campus, inspired the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities such as talent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, sports should
be held
on state or international levels.
For instance
, parents should
also
focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whatever they want and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on internet. A newspaper headline
is published
in Japan 56% students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
competition and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
scientist, engineer with the those activities in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are interested
.
To conclude
,
even though
it is a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individual work together with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands then society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
peaceful and harmonious place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay More and more children as accessing the internet unsupervised and at the younger age. What the problems is it and how it can be solved

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • More and more children as accessing the internet unsupervised and at the younger age. What the problems is it and how it can be solved