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Advancement in transportation has enabled people to travel extensively. Does travel helps to promote understanding and communication between two countries?

Advancement in transportation has enabled people to travel extensively. Does travel helps to promote understanding and communication between two countries? 06k6Q
Nowadays travelling to other countries erases all its boundaries due to the development in the transportation facilities. Many people believe that travelling across the boarders help to improve the understanding and communication between two nations. I totally agree the notion because trips brings out the various beliefs and culture of another country and the way of communication will become easier due to sharing of experiences. The main reason why I support that the various modes of transport accelerates the degree of understanding among nations because it helps in acquiring knowledge about that particular land. When the foreign visitors or employee who visits another nation, being at that place aids to get more information regarding the history of that land, its dynasties, its cultural and traditional beliefs and the various lifestyles of the citizens. To illustrate, If a person visits India, he would be able to understand the various cultures among the people as it is a land of diversity. In addition, The depth of the belief of other countries can be understood which will aids to increase the respect for that land. Another reason why I feel that the area of communication among nations increases is due to the fact that the distribution of travelling experiences with other people. While exploring a land, the travelers will come to gain knowledge about that area and the will obviously shares their travel experiences will their friends and families. Thus the other people will get more informative about the foreign countries and it help them to travel in a safer way. Furthermore, The business and education field across oversees helps to shares their own culture, languages and other beliefs to the friends and colleagues of oversees. In conclusion, I completely agree that the travelling sector between nations makes the people of that countries more unite. Given this situation, it seems that people should be more educated and foreign languages has to be learnt from their schools itself.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
erases all its boundaries due to the development in the transportation facilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
across the boarders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the understanding and communication between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
trips brings out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
and culture of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and the way of communication will become easier due to sharing of experiences.

The main reason why I support that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
modes of transport accelerates the degree of understanding among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in acquiring knowledge about that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
. When the foreign visitors or employee who visits another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, being at that place aids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information regarding the history of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
, its dynasties, its cultural and traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
lifestyles of the citizens. To illustrate, If a person visits India, he would be able to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
cultures among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
of diversity.
In addition
, The depth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
belief
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
be understood
which will aids to increase the respect for that land.

Another reason why I feel that the area of communication among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
increases is due to the fact that the distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
experiences with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While exploring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
, the travelers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to gain knowledge about that area and the will
obviously
shares their travel experiences will their friends and families.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more informative about the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
them to travel in a safer way.
Furthermore
, The business and education field across oversees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "share".
shares
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture, languages and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
to the friends and colleagues of oversees.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
sector between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
more unite.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be more educated and foreign languages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from their schools itself.
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IELTS essay Advancement in transportation has enabled people to travel extensively. Does travel helps to promote understanding and communication between two countries?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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