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More and more children are performing their talents on reality shows. Some people welcome this as a way to nurture young talents. Others are worried that rising to fame at such an early age may disrupt children's personal development.

More and more children are performing their talents on reality shows. Some people welcome this as a way to nurture young talents. Others are worried that rising to fame at such an early age may disrupt children's personal development. qR8Nd
A twelve-year-old boy is going to debut as a Kpop idol in no time since he won a reality show, which acted as an audition process. This decision has been highly debated among netizens, some state that this will pave the way for more young talents into the show business, while the others argue that this will have detrimental consequences on his development. In my opinion, it is not recommended for children to take part in reality shows. To commence with, reality shows and show business in general are not suitable for youngsters. There have been several cases of dramas in show business, where celebrities defame each other by various means, usually formidably bad ones and a child in this situation may not have sufficient support to shield himself or herself against such battles. In addition, being popular may cause the child to be prone to close surveillance and attacks from toxic haters. Both situations are very likely to result in severe traumas and psychological ramifications, which may last for a long time. Secondly, rising to fame at a young age will harm the personal development of children. Taking into consideration the boy aforementioned, he is going to be trained in a packed schedule, including lessons about vocal, dancing, and many other skills needed for a Kpop idol. With all of his time dedicated for training, he will have no time left for education, including sciences and moral lessons. Such deprivation of common knowledge will pose threats to his future life. Opponents of this viewpoint set forth the notion that this phenomenon encourages young talents, which are beneficial to the society as a whole. Admittedly, finding and training young talents from a young age will bring about certain advantages to the future workforce. However, that will be morally inappropriate if the child is put into harsh conditions, such as show business, as that will ruin his or her holistic development process. To encapsulate, although being famous at a young age might seem to be a good head start, it comprises many risks and is not encouraged. Eventually, not a single parent really wants their children to suffer in the future, just to be well-known.
A twelve-year-
old
boy is going to debut as a
Kpop
idol in no time since he won a reality
show
, which acted as an audition process. This decision has been
highly
debated among netizens,
some
state that this will pave the way for more
young
talents into the
show
business
, while the others argue that this will have detrimental consequences on his development. In my opinion, it is not recommended for children to
take part
in reality
shows
.

To commence with, reality
shows
and
show
business
in general
are not suitable for youngsters. There have been several cases of dramas in
show
business
, where celebrities defame each other by various means,
usually
formidably
bad
ones and a child in this situation may not have sufficient support to shield himself or herself against such battles.
In addition
, being popular may cause the child to be prone to close surveillance and attacks from toxic haters. Both situations are
very
likely to result in severe traumas and psychological ramifications, which may last for a long time.

Secondly
, rising to fame at a
young
age will harm the personal development of children. Taking into consideration the boy aforementioned, he is going to
be trained
in a packed schedule, including lessons about vocal, dancing, and
many
other
skills
needed for a
Kpop
idol. With all of his time dedicated for training, he will have no time
left
for education, including sciences and moral lessons. Such deprivation of common knowledge will pose threats to his future life.

Opponents of this viewpoint set forth the notion that this phenomenon encourages
young
talents, which are beneficial to the society as a whole.
Admittedly
, finding and training
young
talents from a
young
age will bring about certain advantages to the future workforce.
However
, that will be
morally
inappropriate if the child
is put
into harsh conditions, such as
show
business
, as that will ruin
his or her
holistic development process.

To encapsulate, although being
famous
at a
young
age might seem to be a
good
head
start
, it comprises
many
risks
and is not encouraged.
Eventually
, not a single parent
really
wants their children to suffer in the future,
just
to be well-known.
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IELTS essay More and more children are performing their talents on reality shows. Some people welcome this as a way to nurture young talents. Others are worried that rising to fame at such an early age may disrupt children's personal development.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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