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These days, fewer people are interested in farming jobs. What are some reasons for this? What can be done to encourage more people to take these jobs?

These days, fewer people are interested in farming jobs. What are some reasons for this? What can be done to encourage more people to take these jobs? d9gMK
Nowadays, people's interest in agricultural jobs has been diminished. Unbanisation and Industrialisation are the root cause that people find agro-based employment less attractive. This essay will analyse reasons behind the lack of interest of masses and suggest some measures to induce folks to acquire such jobs related to this sector. First and foremost reason is that share of farming jobs has been shrinking day by day as people from rural areas who were employed in jobs of cultivation migrate to urban places for better earning and to raise their standard of living which consequently leads to greater loss of the productivity of goods which require labour to produce the output. Therefore declining interest of workers had adverse affect on the growth of share in this zone. Secondly due to Mechanism or Modernisation in industries, youngsters find ease in handling technological gadgets rather than working assiduously in farmlands. Moreover workers who are employed in industrial units have got more and stable salaries, which was not possible in agrarian employment due to its seasonal factor opportutnities and less wage rate. However in India agriculture plays pivitol role in the development of economy. Farming sector contributes near about 17 percent in country's Gross Domestic Product. Innitiative should be taken by government to promote jobs in the above said sector. It should provide financial aid to farmers if any mishappening related to crop occurs. Insurance of fields should be kept mandatory. Formulation of policies and strategies for production stablisation. Furthermore providing Subsidies for reduction of cost and risk help to flourish farming. Farmers should use modern technology to produce efficiently and profitably which would automatically attact employees as there are chances that they get more wages if earning is stable. To sum up, i would like to say that efforts should be made by farmers as well as goverment authorities so to boost employment opportunities in farming sector.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's interest in agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
has
been diminished
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Unbanisation
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'Industrialisation' is British English.
Industrialisation
are the root cause that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find
Possible spelling mistake found.
agro-based
employment less attractive. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
reasons behind the lack of interest of masses and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to induce folks to acquire such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
related to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.
First
and foremost reason is that share of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
has been shrinking day by day as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from rural areas who
were employed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
of cultivation migrate to urban places for better earning and to raise their standard of living which
consequently
leads to greater loss of the productivity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which require
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
to produce the output.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
declining interest of workers had adverse
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on the growth of share in this zone.
Secondly
due to Mechanism or
Possible spelling mistake. 'Modernisation' is British English.
Modernisation
in industries, youngsters find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
in handling technological gadgets
rather
than working
assiduously
in farmlands.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
workers who
are employed
in industrial units have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more and stable salaries, which was not possible in agrarian employment due to its seasonal factor
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportutnities
and less wage rate.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in India agriculture plays
Possible spelling mistake found.
pivitol
role in the development of economy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
contributes near about 17 percent in country's Gross Domestic Product.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Innitiative
should
be taken
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the above said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. It should provide financial aid to farmers if any
Possible spelling mistake found.
mishappening
related to crop occurs. Insurance of fields should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
mandatory. Formulation of policies and strategies for production
Possible spelling mistake found.
stablisation
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
providing Subsidies for reduction of cost and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to flourish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
. Farmers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
modern technology to produce
efficiently
and
profitably
which would
automatically
Possible spelling mistake found.
attact
employees as there are chances that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more wages if earning is stable.

To sum up,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to say that efforts should
be made
by farmers
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to boost employment opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.
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IELTS essay These days, fewer people are interested in farming jobs. What are some reasons for this? What can be done to encourage more people to take these jobs?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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