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Morality at core school is right or wrong?

Morality at core school is right or wrong? qLQop
From my perspective schools are the first contact for children about whats is right or wrong. Because of that, I believe that morality is a necessary subject to be inserted on the core. Although many parents disagree with this, it is necessary to think about the child who only has school as a way to learn in her life. Many parents are not interested to give lessons about morality at home and this responsibility becomes totally to schools.
From my perspective schools are the
first
contact for children about
Possible spelling mistake found
whats
is right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, I believe that morality is a necessary subject to
be inserted
on the core. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents disagree with this, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the child who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has school as a way to learn in her life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents are not interested to give lessons about morality at home and this responsibility becomes
totally
to schools.
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IELTS essay Morality at core school is right or wrong?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
78 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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