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Do you think students today are more interested in politics than they were in the past?

Do you think students today are more interested in politics than they were in the past? wnmod
There's no denying that politics do play a major role in our daily life whether people aware it or not. Some people argue that students today pay little attention than those in the past, while others contend otherwise. From my point of view, I maintain that students are more interested in politics than those in the past that students are often participating in street demonstrations regarding government policies. I will attempt to elaborate my opinions in the following paragraphs. First of all, thanks to the improvement of technology, the most significant difference between then and today is instant news. Students today are exposed to more information from more sources than ever before in history. The baby boomer generation didn't have internet, cell phones, or cable television. The big three networks delivered the news, newspapers were your daily source of information. Today there are thousands of sources of news from every political perspective, which help student to be more aware of politic issue that cover so wind from health care regulation to referendum. Another possible reason is the rise of social media. We are in the information explosion and the internet world. That caused expanded communication without geographical restrictions, and access to the opinion from all around the world. Knowing each other opposite statement can force us to think and criticize their pros and cons. What accounts for still another reason of those who are still in school more concern about government affairs than those did before is globalization. As I mention before, since the country gap between nations has fade, we are now living in a global village. People are interconnected with each so tide that we have to study and search the subject that people might not care before. Take united president election for instance, the candidates’ opinion plays an important role to cross-strait issue that we have to pay notice which may hardly being imagine in the past that people care about policy regarding other countries. Last but not least, because of the advance of democracy and the change of social and educational atmosphere. People today have more freedom to express their feeling and thought concerning political issues than the period when people being under martial law. Participation in politics is encouraged and plenty of student movements such as sunflower movement came out. For reasons mentioned above, I am more than convinced that students are more willing to participate in politics than those in the past.
There's no denying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politics
do play a major role in our daily life whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware it or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
attention than those in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, while others contend
otherwise
. From my point of view, I maintain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politics
than those in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
participating in street demonstrations regarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policies. I will attempt to elaborate my opinions in the following paragraphs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, thanks to the improvement of technology, the most significant difference between then and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
is instant news.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
are exposed
to more information from more sources than ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
in history. The baby boomer generation didn't have internet, cell phones, or cable television. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
three networks delivered the news, newspapers were your daily source of information.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
there are thousands of sources of news from every political perspective, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to be more aware of politic issue that cover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
wind from health care regulation to referendum.

Another possible reason is the rise of social media. We are in the information explosion and the internet world. That caused expanded communication without geographical restrictions, and access to the opinion from all around the world. Knowing each other opposite statement can force us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and criticize their pros and cons.

What accounts for
still
another reason of those who are
still
in school more concern about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
affairs than those did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
is globalization. As I mention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
, since the country gap between nations has
Use past participle here: "faded".
fade
, we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
living in a global village.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are interconnected
with each
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tide that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study and search the subject that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might not care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
. Take united president election
for instance
, the candidates’ opinion plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to cross-strait issue that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay notice which may
The adverb 'hardly' is usually put between 'being' and 'imagine'.
hardly being imagine
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
care about policy regarding other countries.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advance of democracy and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of social and educational atmosphere.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
have more freedom to express their feeling and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
concerning political issues than the period when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being under martial law. Participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politics
is encouraged
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
movements such as sunflower movement came out.

For reasons mentioned above, I am more than convinced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more willing to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politics
than those in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
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IELTS essay Do you think students today are more interested in politics than they were in the past?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
408 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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