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The advantages of the internet outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree?

The advantages of the internet outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree? keK8e
One of the most topical issues in modern society is the development of the internet. Many commentators are of view that the internet have more benefits than drawbacks, however, other people feel that it brings large a number of disadvantages in our life. I totally agree that the internet have more positives than negatives. This essay will outline reasons why I think this. From an overall perspective, there are two main reasons why I believe that the internet brings more benefits than negatives. Firstly, the internet is a useful tool help people connect with other people. For example, individuals can make friends through social media such as Facebook or Instagram where they can share and discuss their experiences for other people across the globe. Furthermore, the internet is the best place to access information and enrich the knowledge. This is because easier look up news. Depite these arguments, a lot of people think that the internet have more negative effects in our life. First of all, the internet is a cause of depression and social isolation. This is because, many people taking advantage of the internet, especially younger people, who spend more time to sitting in the front screen of computer to chatting. Therefore, they experience feelings of depression and social isolation, when they realize that they have many friends on virtual world, while in real life there is no one who they can share joy and sadness. Another reason for this is that with the enhancement of the internet many workers will unemployed. A good illustration of this is that companies will use technologies to do their work instead of use labor. Due to, technologies brings more effective for their works and companies also save more money. In conclusion, advances of the internet is a topic which very relevant in modern society. In my view, the internet provides more advantages for our life than negatives. If we use the internet intelligently, it will provide us a better modern life.
One of the most topical issues in modern society is the development of the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
commentators are of view that the internet have more benefits than drawbacks,
however
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that it brings large a number of disadvantages in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the internet have more positives than negatives. This essay will outline reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this. From an
overall
perspective, there are two main reasons why I believe that the internet brings more benefits than negatives.
Firstly
, the internet is a useful tool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connect with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends through social media such as Facebook or Instagram where they can share and discuss their experiences for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the globe.
Furthermore
, the internet is the best place to access information and enrich the knowledge. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
easier look up news.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Depite
these arguments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the internet have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the internet is a cause of depression and social isolation. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
taking advantage of the internet,
especially
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who spend more time to sitting in the front screen of computer to chatting.
Therefore
, they experience feelings of depression and social isolation, when they realize that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friends on virtual world, while in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
there is no one who they can share joy and sadness. Another reason for this is that with the enhancement of the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers will unemployed. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technologies to do their work
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
labor. Due to, technologies brings more effective for their works and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
also
save more money.
In conclusion
, advances of the internet is a topic which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
relevant in modern society. In my view, the internet provides more advantages for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than negatives. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet
intelligently
, it will provide us a better modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay The advantages of the internet outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
330 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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