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Mony emp,oyees moy work ol home with the modern lechnology. Some people cloim thot ii con benefrl only fhe workers, nol the employers. Do you ogree or disogree?

Mony emp, oyees moy work ol home with the modern lechnology. Some people cloim thot ii con benefrl only fhe workers, nol the employers. Do you ogree or disogree? PE56X
Telecommuting, which implies working from home with the help of telephone lines, has become very popular, especially where the lnternet connections are fast and reliable. l, disagree with the given statement that it can benefit only the employees, and not the employers. I believe, that telecommuting is advantageous for both - employers and employees. There are many advantages of telecommuting to employees. To begin with, it saves time as no time is wasted commuting to and from the office. Teleworkers don't even have to spend time getting ready for work. Secondly, it also saves money, as no spending on private or public transport has to be done. Furthermore, the worker can look after minor family commitments like dropping the child to school etc. Although most of the work done by tele-workers is monitored, still a few minutes can be snatched at times. All this helps a lot in maintaining a work-life balance. On the other hand, there are many advantages to employers also. Firstly, less office space is needed as the workers are working from home. lt is a fact that land prices are exorbitant, and it is very expensive to build large offices. Not only constructing buildings for offices, but maintaining them is also very costly. Another benefit, which has been observed after telecommuting became common, is that employees take less sick leave and other leaves. They do not have to take a whole day off for a minor family commitment, such as looking after a sick family member. This is also beneficial for employers. It would be worthwhile to consider why some people opine that telecommuting is not beneficial for employers. They argue that supervising tele-workers is difficult. However, statistics have proved that telecommuters make extra efforts to work well from home, as they realize the benefits it has for them. To sum up, I reiterate my opinion by saying that telecommuting is beneficial for both employees as well as employers. lt would be wrong to say that employers are not benefited at all.
Telecommuting, which implies working from home with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of telephone lines, has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular,
especially
where the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lnternet
connections are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and reliable.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
l
, disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement that it can benefit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, and not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
. I believe, that telecommuting is advantageous for both
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of telecommuting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is wasted
commuting to and from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
. Teleworkers don't even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
getting ready for work.
Secondly
, it
also
saves money, as no spending on private or public transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be done
.
Furthermore
, the worker can look after minor family commitments like dropping the child to school etc. Although most of the work done by
Possible spelling mistake found.
tele-workers
is monitored
,
still
a few minutes can
be snatched
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. All this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a lot in maintaining a work-life balance.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
also
.
Firstly
, less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
space
is needed
as the workers are working from home.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
is a fact that land prices are exorbitant, and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive to build large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
constructing buildings for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
maintaining them is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly. Another benefit, which has
been observed
after telecommuting became common, is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
take less sick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
. They do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take a whole day off for a minor family commitment, such as looking after a sick family member. This is
also
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
. It would be worthwhile to consider why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that telecommuting is not beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
. They argue that supervising
Possible spelling mistake found.
tele-workers
is difficult.
However
, statistics have proved that telecommuters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
extra efforts to work well from home, as they realize the benefits it has for them. To sum up, I reiterate my opinion by saying that telecommuting is beneficial for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
are not benefited at all.
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IELTS essay Mony emp, oyees moy work ol home with the modern lechnology. Some people cloim thot ii con benefrl only fhe workers, nol the employers. Do you ogree or disogree?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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