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Topic 2: Describe a place in other countries where you would like to work

Topic 2: Describe a place in other countries where you would like to work Q56Ay
These days, going abroad for studying or working have become easier than ever thanks to the development of transportations, technology devices and especially the relationship between countries. As a result, numerous people have been dreaming of working in another country and I am not an exception. The country in which I would like to work someday is Japan. In this essay I will this country for you. Japanese culture is the one that attract me the most in comparison of others. Since I was young, I have had interest in Japanese animation which can be called as ‘anime’. ‘Anime’ is becoming more and more popular in the present due to its quality and plots, some also have exceeded the revenue of others popular movie at the cinema. Japan is also well-known as one of the countries having the lowest ratio of crimes in the last few years since the Japanese are very strict when it come to moral education. The local resident is considered to be very polite with each other. The scenery in Japan is also wonderful and picturesque, just like came out from an ‘anime’. Schools, stations, stairs which may be conceived normal but in Japan they are aesthetic. Moreover, you can hardly see any trash on the street, keeping the scenery here still remain the same after a long period of time. This is because of the fact that every individual netizen in Japan were educated carefully about morality and being raise the awareness since they were young. My country still has to learn a lot about Japanese education system in order to keep the heritage in my country for other generations. Notwithstanding the fact that Japan is an ideal place for me to live and work in, I still prefer to stay in Vietnam as all of my beloved family, friends and relatives are here. As a person born and lived in Vietnam for a long time, it is hard for me to move to another country to start a living.
These days, going abroad for studying or working have become easier than ever thanks to the development of transportations, technology devices and
especially
the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
As a result
, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been dreaming of working in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and I am not an exception. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in which I would like to work someday is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. In this essay I will this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for you.

Japanese culture is the one that attract me the most
in comparison
of others. Since I was young, I have had interest in Japanese animation which can
be called
as ‘anime’. ‘Anime’ is becoming more and more popular in the present due to its quality and plots,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
also
have exceeded the revenue of others popular movie at the cinema.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
is
also
well-known as one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
having the lowest ratio of crimes in the last few years since the Japanese are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict when it
Did you mean "comes"?
come
to moral education. The local resident
is considered
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
polite with each other.

The scenery in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
is
also
wonderful and picturesque,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like came out from an ‘anime’. Schools, stations, stairs which may
be conceived
normal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
they are aesthetic.
Moreover
, you can hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any trash on the street, keeping the scenery here
still
remain the same after a long period of time. This is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
every individual netizen in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
were educated
carefully
about morality and being
Consider using a past participle here: "raised".
raise
the awareness since they were young. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
learn a lot about Japanese education system in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the heritage in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for other generations.

Notwithstanding the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
is an ideal place for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work in, I
still
prefer to stay in Vietnam as all of my beloved family, friends and relatives are here. As a person born and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Vietnam for a long time, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a living.
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IELTS essay Topic 2: Describe a place in other countries where you would like to work

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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