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monthly temperatures in three cities

monthly temperatures in three cities LrRAR
Beginning from January and February, the coldest months, it is clear that between these three cities, the hottest temperatures are detected in Sydney which are more than 20 grades. Instead, London and New York see an average of 7, 5 Celsius degrees. During the winter months, the Australian city records higher temperature than London and New York, and probably that is due by sunshine exposition which is similar to New York for all the year. This difference decreases gradually during spring and summer, where New York days are hottest than Sydney days. For all the autumn and winter, the UK capital, has confirmed average temperature which are attested between five and ten Celsius degrees. Despite London has the lower sunshine average which is almost the half than the others two city, it exceeds Sydney daily temperature during the summer. As far as annual sunshine record results are concerned, these data give an evidence about the relation between higher temperature and winter month. In fact, cities which have a lot of sunny days, have experienced warmer days during the winter.
Beginning from January and February, the coldest months, it is
clear
that between these three
cities
, the hottest
temperatures
are detected
in Sydney which are more than 20 grades.
Instead
, London and
New
York
see
an average of 7, 5 Celsius degrees.

During the
winter
months, the Australian city records higher
temperature
than London and
New
York, and
probably
that is
due by sunshine exposition which is similar to
New
York for all the year. This difference decreases
gradually
during spring and summer, where
New
York days are
hottest
than Sydney days. For all the autumn and
winter
, the UK capital, has confirmed average
temperature
which
are attested
between five and ten Celsius degrees. Despite London has the lower sunshine average which is almost the half than the others two city, it exceeds Sydney daily
temperature
during the summer. As far as annual sunshine record results
are concerned
, these data give an evidence about the relation between higher
temperature
and
winter
month. In fact,
cities
which have
a lot of
sunny days, have experienced warmer days during the
winter
.
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IELTS essay monthly temperatures in three cities

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
179 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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