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In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones (cellphones) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones (cellphones) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages. aDnP
Payment through apps in cell phones is on the rise and has become mundane across the globe. While few believe that this development has its share of advantages, I however believe, that security concerns and other factors makes it more disadvantageous. On one hand, having apps that can access or money could be useful. It could eliminate few things a person may carry generally. For example, a person need not carry his wallet and credit/debit cards, if he has apps to access his bank or money. Moreover, it is extremely convenient and easily accessible as people carry their mobile everywhere. On the other hand, Although apps having access to payment have few advantages, the security issues involving it is a huge factor to be taken into consideration. A few studies suggested that one of the reason in increasing online frauds is the use of online payments through apps in the mobile. Recently, a report was all over the news and internet, where many individuals were hacked into their bank accounts due to apps in their mobile. Additionally, many people argue and have a theory of virtual money being not real money and can vanish anytime. They believe that hard cash is more safe and reliable. Therefore, I believe, the negative side of this trend outweighs its positive aspects. In conclusion, although popularity of using mobile apps as a mode of payment is increasing among people for its convenience and accessibility, I believe that its disadvantages cannot be ignored and they outweigh its advantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Payment
through apps in cell phones is on the rise and has become mundane across the globe. While few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this development has its share of advantages, I
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
, that security concerns and other factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more disadvantageous.

On one hand, having apps that can access or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could be useful. It could eliminate few things a person may carry
generally
.
For example
, a person need not carry his wallet and credit/debit cards, if he has apps to access his bank or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Moreover
, it is
extremely
convenient and
easily
accessible as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
carry their mobile everywhere.

On the other hand
, Although apps having access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
have few advantages, the security issues involving it is a huge factor to
be taken
into consideration. A few studies suggested that one of the reason in increasing online frauds is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payments
through apps in the mobile. Recently, a report was all over the news and internet, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
were hacked
into their bank accounts due to apps in their mobile.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue and have a theory of virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
being not real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and can vanish anytime. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
cash is more safe and reliable.
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of this trend outweighs its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects.

In conclusion
, although popularity of using mobile apps as a mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
is increasing among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for its convenience and accessibility, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that its disadvantages cannot be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ignored and
they outweigh its advantages.

IELTS essay In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones (cellphones) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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