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money makes life easier and more comfortable. writing an essay discuss the topic.

money makes life easier and more comfortable. writing an essay discuss the topic. G3DOm
Nowadays, society has been developing more and more, therefore, people’s life also has been enhancing very much. Human demands have been born and changed by the world’s trends. Money has become indispensable to our life. People say that money makes life easier and more comfortable. However, anything has two sides. Therefore, this essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of money. First and foremost, it can not deny the extreme importance of money. Firstly, money makes life easier and more comfortable. If you have abundant money, you can eat what you want, buy what you need, and travel where you like. In addition, our health is taken care of properly as well as the mind is usually comfortable. Secondly, money does not only bring positive things to the individual but also largely contribute to society. In fact, we can see that there are a lot of people who are rich money dedicating their money, their time to help other people coming over the state of Covid as the present. That makes society become better. On the other hand, although money helps people that live easier, it exists a dark side. The first problem is that money makes people change human behavior. Some people earn a lot of money by cheating other people, do smuggling, making fake goods, etc. As the result, it causes behaviors breaking the law and social instability. Moreover, spending time too much for work to get money affects people’s health seriously. In fact, in Japan, the rate of suicide and depression has reached alarm because of working pressure. From analysts above, we can see the incredible benefits to life and people can not live without money and life will be poor, backward. Having a lot of money will expand your mind, your knowledge, your sight and make sure good health. However, don’t just live for money and earn money regardless of ethics and law. People should balance between earning money and taking care of other things such as family, relationships, entertainable demands.
Nowadays, society has been developing more and more,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
also
has been enhancing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much. Human demands have
been born
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by the world’s trends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
has become indispensable to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier and more comfortable.
However
, anything has two sides.
Therefore
, this essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of money.

First
and foremost, it can not deny the extreme importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier and more comfortable. If you have abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, you can eat what you want,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what you need, and travel where you like.
In addition
, our health
is taken
care of
properly
as well
as the mind is
usually
comfortable.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things to the individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
largely
contribute to society. In fact, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
dedicating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, their time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming over the state of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid
as the present. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
society become better.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
easier, it exists a dark side. The
first
problem is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
human behavior.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by cheating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go smuggling".
do smuggling
, making fake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, etc. As the result, it causes behaviors breaking the law and social instability.
Moreover
, spending time too much for work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health
seriously
. In fact, in Japan, the rate of suicide and depression has reached alarm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of working pressure.

From analysts above, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the incredible benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be poor, backward. Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will expand your mind, your knowledge, your sight and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.
However
, don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
regardless of ethics and law.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should balance between earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things such as family, relationships,
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertainable
demands.
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IELTS essay money makes life easier and more comfortable. writing an essay discuss the topic.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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