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Money is not the most important thing in life.discuss

Money is not the most important thing in life. discuss 2b8qj
Nowadays, I can say most of the people are trying hard, fight with each other, etc to just for gain money. It is obvious that money plays a key role in a life, however it isn’t the most important thing in life totally. It is obvious that money has played a major role in someone’s life which actually we can say it showed the gap between poor and rich. It is appear in a quality of life. For example, having a high-quality life, high income and number of opportunity of job and etc. All of them are based on money. On the other hand, it couldn’t be an important part of life. If you don’t have any family or real relationship, either you have a huge amount of money, or high level of job none of them can feel the empty space a family. Frankly there are a number of things such as having family, happiness, love, good health condition and etc, are much more important than money. In conclusion, although money had a huge impact in our life which can change our life to better condition, There are much more things which their value is more important than money. Moreover careing about this thing beside money can make life into higher quality.
Nowadays, I can say most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are trying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, fight with each other, etc to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. It is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays a key role in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
however
it isn’t the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
thing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
totally
.

It is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has played a major role in someone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which actually we can say it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the gap between poor and rich.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
is
Consider using a past participle here: "appeared".
appear
in a quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, having a high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, high income and number of opportunity of job
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. All of them
are based
on money.

On the other hand
, it couldn’t be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If you don’t have any family or real relationship, either you have a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, or high level of job none of them can feel the empty space a family.
Frankly
there are a number of things such as having family, happiness,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health condition
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
, are much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than money.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
had a huge impact in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to better condition, There are much more things which their value is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
Possible spelling mistake found.
careing
about this thing beside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
into higher quality.
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IELTS essay Money is not the most important thing in life. discuss

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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