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Money does not guarantee true happiness

Money does not guarantee true happiness jRGb8
While some think money is the key for happiness, most agree that it does not equate to true happiness. Happiness is a complex state of being and is complicated to define. Firstly, money is an absolute necessity and a decisive factor for everyday living as it helps one to aquire the basic needs including food, shelter and clothing and other luxury goods that ensures comfort. Having so much money that erases every financial worries can certainly improve one's overall state of well being. Despite these facts, having an abundance of wealth cannot secure happiness. For example, luxury goods such as good cars or mansions brings a sence of happiness which reduces once they get accustomed to it. Humans are greedy by nature and never content with what they already, because of which they seek for wealth even if they already have it is excess. However, there are factors that can help promote happiness. These include strong familial and social relationships, good physical and spiritual health and good temperament. These factors together brings forth a sense of contentment and lasting happiness. In conclusion, having enough money and material possessions, are undoubtedly an important factor, but at the same time no guarantee for happiness. Whilst difficult to define, true happiness is not completely out of reach; good bonds with family and friends and good health are some factors that can help one be truly happy.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the key for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it does not equate to true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
is a complex state of being and
is complicated
to define.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an absolute necessity and a decisive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
for everyday living as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
one to
Possible spelling mistake found.
aquire
the basic needs including food, shelter and clothing and other luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
that ensures comfort. Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that erases every financial worries can
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
one's
overall
state of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.

Despite these facts, having an abundance of wealth cannot secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
For example
, luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
cars or mansions brings a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accustomed to it. Humans are greedy by nature and never content with what they already,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they seek for wealth even if they already have it is excess.

However
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. These include strong familial and social relationships,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
physical and spiritual health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
temperament. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
together brings forth a sense of contentment and lasting happiness.

In conclusion
, having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and material possessions, are
undoubtedly
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time no guarantee for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. Whilst difficult to define, true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is not completely out of reach;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
bonds with family and friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
health are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one be
truly
happy.
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IELTS essay Money does not guarantee true happiness

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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