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Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. mgrd
There is a free flow of information which is accessed and exchanged significantly in the boom of Temporary Technological age. While it is true that human can easily take advantages of its convenience and high speed, I strongly believe that there are still some hidden risks that people should concern. To begin with, offensive information including pornography are not strictly regulated by the government, can easily spread without age-restricted. Teenagers who are usually inquisitive about the world around them can be wrongly educated by this negative knowledge. For example, there are a huge amount of unillegal sexual websites which are omnipresent on the Internet, attract thousands of young adult users annually. Moreover, untruth news about politics and economics can make teenagers become criminal. Another point is this technological advancement has no strict legislation, can pose a threat to the private data of users. With the freedom in social networking site, any private ones may be easily known by a vast amount of strangers. Let take a piece of news that happened in America as an example. This report could be read by millions of people at the same time around the world immediately just some minutes later. Admittedly, they could face health problems if the overuse its usefulness. For instance, spending too much time on computers would harm both mental and physical health and increase the risks of some diseases like obesity, diabetes, short-sightedness and depression. To sum up, although I believe modern technology is very beneficial, it has some aspects that people should take into account and remedy its problems.
There is a free flow of information which
is accessed
and exchanged
significantly
in the boom of Temporary Technological age. While it is true that human can
easily
take advantages of its convenience and high speed, I
strongly
believe that there are
still
some
hidden
risks
that
people
should concern.

To
begin
with, offensive information including pornography are not
strictly
regulated by the
government
, can
easily
spread without age-restricted.
Teenagers
who are
usually
inquisitive about the world around them can be
wrongly
educated by this
negative
knowledge.
For example
, there are a huge
amount
of
unillegal
sexual websites which are omnipresent on the Internet, attract thousands of young adult users
annually
.
Moreover
, untruth news about politics and economics can
make
teenagers
become criminal.

Another point is this technological advancement has no strict legislation, can pose a threat to the private data of users. With the freedom in social networking site, any private ones may be
easily
known by a vast amount of strangers.
Let
take a piece of news that happened in America as an example. This report could
be read
by millions of
people
at the same time around the world immediately
just
some
minutes later.
Admittedly
, they could face health problems if the overuse its usefulness.
For instance
, spending too much time on computers would harm both mental and physical health and increase the
risks
of
some
diseases like obesity, diabetes,
short-sightedness
and depression.

To sum up, although I believe modern technology is
very
beneficial, it has
some
aspects that
people
should take into account and remedy its problems.
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IELTS essay Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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