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Modern technology enables people to travel further and faster

Modern technology enables people to travel further and faster 0lQrq
Nowadays, most people, especially the younger generation are using modern technology to make their life easier and make everything seem instant. Even though some people are still struggling to adapt with modern technology, I believe modern technology allows people to travel easier and faster. Modern technology is an example of globalization's impact that affects many people. There are a lot of advantages from having modern technology at this time, not only in the education sector but also in the transportation sector. The development of technology in the transportation sector has caused the number of people who are travelling in recent years to increase sharply. Travel applications such as Traveloka, Agoda and Booking. com are examples of modern technology that make people’s lives easier. Besides, modern technology makes transportation’s cost cheaper; thus, will erase the gap between the poor and the rich. In the past, people who usually travelled across the country were rich people but nowadays all people can travel abroad. Since travelling is cheaper nowadays, it helps many people to get experience from new places and cultures. Merely, there are still a lot of people who travelled across the country just to show off their trip in social media, it caused a gap between people who still could not afford travel’s cost even though it is cheaper nowadays. In addition, travelling helps people to heal and reduce their stress, especially people who live in big and hectic cities. Moreover, The sharp increase of people who are travelling nowadays not only makes profit for travel agents or applications, but also the percentage of air pollution increases sharply. To sum up, modern technology has a big impact on people’s lives, especially when travel’s cost are cheaper nowadays. In my opinion, it is great to take advantage of having modern technology in the transportation sector but it is crucial to think about air pollution as well. (314)
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Nowadays
, most
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people
,
especially
the younger generation are using
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modern
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technology
to
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make
their life easier and
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make
everything seem instant.
Even though
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some
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people
are
still
struggling to adapt with
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modern
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technology
, I believe
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modern
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technology
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allows
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people
to
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travel
easier and faster.

Modern
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technology
is an example of globalization's impact that affects
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many
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people
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages from having
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modern
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technology
at this time, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the education
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sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the
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transportation
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sector
. The development of
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technology
in the
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transportation
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sector
has caused the number of
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people
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who
are
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travelling
in recent years to increase
sharply
.
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Travel
applications such as
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Traveloka
, Agoda and Booking.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
are examples of
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modern
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technology
that
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make
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people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier.
Besides
,
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modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
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transportation’s
cost
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cheaper
;
thus
, will erase the gap between the poor and the rich. In the past,
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people
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who
usually
travelled across the country were rich
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people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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nowadays
all
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people
can
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travel
abroad. Since
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travelling
is
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cheaper
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nowadays
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience from new places and cultures.
Merely
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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people
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who
travelled across the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their trip in social media, it caused a gap between
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people
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who
still
could not afford
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travel’s
cost
even though
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheaper
nowadays.

In addition
,
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travelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to heal and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
and hectic cities.
Moreover
, The sharp increase of
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people
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who
are
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travelling
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nowadays
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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makes
profit for
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travel
agents or applications,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the percentage of air pollution increases
sharply
.

To sum up,
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modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
especially
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel’s
cost are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nowadays
. In my opinion, it is great to take advantage of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about air pollution
as well
.

(314)
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IELTS essay Modern technology enables people to travel further and faster

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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