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Modern technology does have a far outreach on the private data

Modern technology does have a far outreach on the private data d92BE
Modern technology does have a far outreach on the private data and this aspect doesn't look promising on the bright side. According to my view, access to information at this rate can be perilous to the society as explained below for two major reasons. Primarily, the privacy of individuals is in danger and it can be attacked by some hackers and be misused. This can lead to blackmail and extortion of money at various levels. Shutting down of biggest pipeline in USA due to hackers threat is one of the best example to reveal the scale of danger possible. Similarly, public especially women do face problems from fake or improper calls from various kinds of perverts with malicious intentions. Secondarily, various marketing calls from unknown sources indicate that your data is being leaked from at least one of the outlets where you must have mentioned your contact information. Some of these are too disturbing and break the brink of privacy needed for an individual. Celebrity gossips often indicate how data leaks can be quite uncomfortable and give perfect chance for stalkers to strike. Thus, for the reasons mentioned above, I, for one think that information transfer at an uncontrolled level can be extremely dangerous to the whole society eventually whole nation. This reach needs to be curbed at appropriate levels with various measures to make sure we reap benefits of advanced technology while handling its loopholes.
Modern technology does have a far outreach on the private data and this aspect doesn't look promising on the bright side. According to my view, access to information at this rate can be perilous to the society as
explained
below for two major reasons.

Primarily
, the privacy of individuals is in
danger
and it can
be attacked
by
some
hackers and
be misused
. This can lead to blackmail and extortion of money at
various
levels. Shutting down of
biggest
pipeline
in USA
due to hackers threat is one of the best example to reveal the scale of
danger
possible.
Similarly
, public
especially
women do face problems from fake or improper calls from
various
kinds of perverts with malicious intentions.

Secondarily
,
various
marketing calls from unknown sources indicate that your data is
being leaked
from at least one of the outlets where you
must
have mentioned your contact information.
Some
of these are too disturbing and break the brink of privacy needed for an individual. Celebrity gossips
often
indicate how data leaks can be quite uncomfortable and give perfect chance for stalkers to strike.

Thus
, for the reasons mentioned above, I, for one
think
that information transfer at an uncontrolled level can be
extremely
dangerous
to the whole society
eventually
whole nation. This reach needs to
be curbed
at appropriate levels with
various
measures to
make
sure we reap benefits of advanced technology while handling its loopholes.
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IELTS essay Modern technology does have a far outreach on the private data

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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