Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Modern society's obsession with material goods like cars, designer clothes and jewellery has diverted people's attention from some more important aspects of family bonding and social values. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Modern society's obsession with material goods like cars, designer clothes and jewellery has diverted people's attention from some more important aspects of family bonding and social values. m3m0A
It is sometimes inferred that the community of today believes in respecting members who possess expensive and branded stuff more than people who value the importance of family and society. I believe this to be true in my opinion. First of all, I believe that the recent generation seems to focus more on acquisition of worldly items than strengthening family bonds. Individuals are willing to separate from their kins in search of higher wages. They are ready to disconnect from their roots and move abroad in order to get a better standard of living. There have also been raging disputes regarding properties. Instead of caring for their parents, siblings fight amongst each other so that they can get the largest share of inheritance. On another note, I think people deem branded goods more significant than human lives. More care is given to production of items instead of valuing human lives. While companies like Nike have recently come under flak for encouraging child labor, there have been little to no protests against such malpractice. Even in case of emergencies, people prefer to secure their possessions more than secure themselves. They make sure their cars are unharmed in case of accidents while not considering the health of the other person involved in the mishap. Multiple insurances are procured to ensure the safety of their prized items while personal security is ignored. To conclude, while I believe that some people do take care of others in a society, a majority of the population believes in giving more significance to material possessions.
It is
sometimes
inferred that the community of
today
believes
in respecting members who possess expensive and branded stuff more than
people
who value the importance of family and society. I
believe
this to be true in my opinion.

First of all
, I
believe
that the recent generation seems to focus more on acquisition of worldly items than strengthening family bonds. Individuals are willing to separate from their
kins
in search of higher wages. They are ready to disconnect from their roots and
move
abroad in order to
get
a better standard of living. There have
also
been raging disputes regarding properties.
Instead
of caring for their parents, siblings fight amongst each other
so
that they can
get
the largest share of inheritance.

On another note, I
think
people
deem branded
goods
more significant than human
lives
. More care is
given
to production of items
instead
of valuing human
lives
. While
companies
like Nike have recently
come
under flak for encouraging child labor, there have been
little
to no protests against such malpractice. Even in case of emergencies,
people
prefer to secure their possessions more than secure themselves. They
make
sure their cars
are unharmed
in case of accidents while not considering the health of the other person involved in the mishap. Multiple insurances
are procured
to ensure the safety of their prized items while personal security is
ignored
.

To conclude
, while I
believe
that
some
people
do take care of others in a society, a majority of the population
believes
in giving more significance to material possessions.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Modern society's obsession with material goods like cars, designer clothes and jewellery has diverted people's attention from some more important aspects of family bonding and social values.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts