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Modern Medicine for Living Longer

Modern Medicine for Living Longer OgVrd
In the two-decade, people have gained several factors that are beneficial for the whole of humanity in the field of medicine. Some people assume that people can have a longer life because of modern medicine. I totally agree with that idea and believe that it absolutely affects all people life positively and helps to live longer because of certain reasons such as accessible, and effective The first reason is that modern medicine is absolutely accessible. People who reside in a big city can get help from modern medicine thanks to hospitals where they are located there. Moreover, even people who live in rural areas can get assistance from them. For example, if peasants suffer from an epidemic disease in their village, modern medicine can easily reach and treat them. Thus, there is no need to use traditional technics for living a longer life and all they need is modern medicine that offers everything for human life. The second last reason is that modern medicine is forceful and effective. Modern medicine is very quickly absorbing to the human body. Also, it helps to back to normal for people health condition quickly. For example, when people go to a hospital, they can be easily treated thanks to modern medicine because modern medicine has provided us with many possibilities such as more effective and useful drugs and technologies. Thus, people who get help from modern medicine are more likely to live longer. To sum up, modern medicine uses modern technologies that are being supported to find diseases that are difficult to diagnose very early. Therefore Doctors can choose the right way and treat people. I believe that modern medicine is helping to live a long life comfortably. I advise people should benefit from all aspects of modern medicine and when they benefit, they will easily see that they live longer.
In the two-decade,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have gained several factors that are beneficial for the whole of humanity in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and believe that it
absolutely
affects all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
positively
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of certain reasons such as accessible, and effective

The
first
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is
absolutely
accessible.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who reside in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
thanks to hospitals where they
are located
there.
Moreover
, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in rural areas can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
assistance from them.
For example
, if peasants suffer from an epidemic disease in their village,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
can
easily
reach and treat them.
Thus
, there is no need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
traditional
Possible spelling mistake found.
technics
for living a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and all they need is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
that offers everything for human life.

The second last reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is forceful and effective.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
absorbing to the human body.
Also
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to back to normal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
health condition
quickly
.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to a hospital, they can be
easily
treated thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
has provided us with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possibilities such as more effective and useful drugs and technologies.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
are more likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
longer.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technologies that are
being supported
to find diseases that are difficult to diagnose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
Doctors can choose the right way and treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is helping to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
comfortably
. I advise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should benefit from all aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
and when they benefit, they will
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
.
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IELTS essay Modern Medicine for Living Longer

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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