Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? DAka
Along with players wages, there has been a gradual increase in the price of attending sporting or events. In recent times people have been spending a significant amount of their salary’s on attending sporting or events. This essay will show why I think that this is a positive development, because if people can spend this money why would they not, and I view this a form of investment. In the case that people can afford to purchase expensive tickets why would this be negative thing? In the same way people like other expensive items, I cannot see why these events would be different. For instance, spending 50 000 dollars on a fancy car is not viewed badly, but spending so much on tickets would be. Although, these are all just cases of people spending money on what brings them joy, therefore should not be considered distinct. For the most part if they enjoy these things spending whatever amount of money would not be a negative thing. With this in mind, the increase in amount people spend on tickets should also be viewed as a investment, because without this influx of money the events would not be able to occur. To clarify, buying a ticket to watch a famous football club may cost several hundred dollars, however, these fans view this purchase as a investment in their favourite club, since a majority of the money will go to the clubs playing. As a consequence, for them it is a worthwhile purchase as it ensures the future of their event will be able to continue for a number of years to come. To conclude, in the same way some people spend money on cars or accessories, If people wish to do so on tickets since it is their money it remains their choice and they may choose to do this so that these events may continue. This is why I think paying a considerable sum for a ticket is a positive development as it shows enthusiasm to support sporting or events.
Along with players wages, there has been a gradual increase in the price of attending sporting or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. In recent times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
a significant amount of their salary’s on attending sporting or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spend this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
why would they not, and I view this a form of investment.

In the case that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
why would this be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thing?
In the same way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like other expensive items, I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
50 000 dollars on a fancy car is not viewed
badly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
would be. Although, these are all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on what brings them joy,
therefore
should not
be considered
distinct.
For the most part
if they enjoy these things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
whatever amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would not be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thing.

With this in mind, the increase in amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
should
also
be viewed
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
investment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without this influx of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
would not be able to occur. To clarify, buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
football club may cost several hundred dollars,
however
, these fans view this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
investment in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
club, since a majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will go to the clubs playing. As a consequence, for them it is a worthwhile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
as it ensures the future of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
will be able to continue for a number of years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

To conclude
,
in the same way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on cars or accessories, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wish to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
since it is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
it remains their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
choice and
they may choose to do this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
may continue. This is why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
paying a considerable sum for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
enthusiasm to support sporting or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts