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Money should be spent on creating new buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Money should be spent on creating new buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing ones. 5EjV
Each city has different types of buildings therein some are dilapidated and the government has spent more and more money to renovate them. However, if money is spent on building new establishments and destroying old one, it will be more profitable. Overall, I can partly agree with the topic statement because some old museums and town halls have historic value and replacing them with modern buildings destroy the integrity picture of history such constructions. Firstly, few people can deny the fact that all buildings eventually are eroded, and regardless of what the government does, they will be destroyed. Therefore, debilitated constructions, perhaps, are better demolishing for diminishing waste of money. For example, it has been noticed that the more year old constructions the less help renovating and simultaneously has more cost. Consequently, if we replace such buildings on the new one it has the benefit in parts of comfort because new facilities are constructed by modern material, and less money is needed to be spent on them. Nevertheless, many dilapidated constructions are ancient and have historic value in part of memory about our famous ancestors or the history of a city. In Poland, for instance, each city has an old centre where Town Hall was constructed with unique style, and it is simultaneously a museum, the seal of history and the place for many events. Likewise, all ancient buildings were constructed on a historically essential place, so new buildings do not have the same value for a country. Thus, the government would have to decide that constructions can demolish those that are not. To conclude, each country has made its own decision about existing constructions. Notwithstanding, I believe that old buildings, which are monumental, need preservation as long as it is possible that partly correspond to the topic statement.
Each city has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
therein
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are dilapidated
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has spent more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to renovate them.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
establishments and destroying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
one, it will be more profitable.
Overall
, I can partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the topic statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
museums and town halls have historic value and replacing them with modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the integrity picture of history such constructions.

Firstly
, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can deny the fact that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
eventually
are eroded
, and regardless of what the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does, they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
.
Therefore
, debilitated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
, perhaps, are better demolishing for diminishing waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
, it has
been noticed
that the more year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
the less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to renovate" or "renovate".
renovating
and
simultaneously
has more cost.
Consequently
, if we replace such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one it has the benefit in parts of comfort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
facilities
are constructed
by modern material, and less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is needed
to
be spent
on them.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
dilapidated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
are ancient and have historic value in part of memory about our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
ancestors or the history of a city. In Poland,
for instance
, each city has an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
where Town Hall
was constructed
with unique style, and it is
simultaneously
a museum, the seal of history and the place for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Likewise
, all ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
were constructed
on a
historically
essential place,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
do not have the same value for a country.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
decide that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
can demolish those that are not.

To conclude
, each country has made its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision about existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
. Notwithstanding, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, which are monumental, need preservation as long as it is possible that partly correspond to the topic statement.

IELTS essay Money should be spent on creating new buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing ones.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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