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Modern consumption habits

Modern consumption habits NMVLg
At the first, we can compare form 1920-Now what kind of different part in the Grange Park, based on my knowledge, In 1920 we usually going to the park because relax our physical, hence at that time we can see the photograph of 1920, it was more about the nature things, for instance, that includes 3 Rose gardens, one pond for water plants and Glasshouse, and the centre of the Grange park by 1920 is the fountain, correspondingly form today the stage for musicians this area is change to Amphitheatre for concerts, conclude that we can know form now of the consumer we are more popular to join some outdoor music party concert, whereas, it is nothing changes that much form 1920-now, except they add the café, children’s play area and car park. Altogether, as a result changes of the times, we need to change something that close to Modern consumption habits.
At the
first
, we can compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
1920-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
what kind of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part in the Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
, based on my knowledge, In 1920 we
usually
going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
relax our physical,
hence
at that time we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the photograph of 1920, it was more about the nature things,
for instance
, that includes 3 Rose gardens, one pond for water plants and Glasshouse, and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of the Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
by 1920 is the fountain,
correspondingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the stage for musicians this area is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'Amphitheatre' is British English.
Amphitheatre
for concerts, conclude that we can know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
of the consumer we are more popular to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
outdoor music party concert, whereas, it is nothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
that much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
1920-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, except they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
the café, children’s play area and car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. Altogether,
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
of the times, we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
something that close to Modern consumption habits.
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IELTS essay Modern consumption habits

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
152 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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