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in some countries, there has been an increase in number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school.

in some countries, there has been an increase in number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Mlo8o
Nowadays, more and more parents choose to educate their children at home rather than at school. I believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Young children have a better environment to study at school. They can study with their peers, do some group work, cooperate with others, and even lay with them in their free time. The school also offers professional teaching teachers to know how to educate students in a correct way, and can teach the knowledge they must learn. Schoolis is also a mini society, children can have the feeling of dealing with people. School provides them the opportunity to learn about interpersonal relationships, which is good for their future lives in real society. In interpersonal relationships, parents educate their children themselves at home and can't bring children the vibe as they study with their peers, which may make one of them feel wonderful and it's good for their menial health. On the other hand, it still has a positive side. For instance, parents are the people who know their children the most. They can provide children with the most suitable study plan. All over, although parents educate children themselves at home has some advantages, schools provide children more and better. I believe the disadvantages of this thing outweigh the advantages.
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educate
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home
rather
than at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a better environment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. They can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
with their peers, do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group work, cooperate with others, and even lay with them in their free time. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
also
offers professional teaching teachers to know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educate
students
Consider replacing "in a correct way" with the adverb for "correct"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a correct way
, and can teach the knowledge they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Schoolis
is
also
a mini society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can have the feeling of dealing with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
provides them the opportunity to learn about interpersonal relationships, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in real society. In interpersonal relationships,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educate
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
themselves at home and can't bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the vibe as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
with their peers, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one of them feel wonderful and it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their menial health.
On the other hand
, it
still
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the most. They can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with the most suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
plan.

All over, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
themselves at home has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more and better. I believe the disadvantages of this thing outweigh the advantages.
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IELTS essay in some countries, there has been an increase in number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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