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Children nowadays suffer more obesity.

Children nowadays suffer more obesity. PgYGJ
It is an undeniable fact that kids nowadays suffer illness due to an obesity. This is becoming increasingly serious in many modern nations. Although it threatens many societies, its effects can also be combated successfully. This essay looks at some of the root causes of the obesity, and suggest some solutions to address the problem. First of all, being obese creates other many side effects and multiple problems. In my opinion, children and parents are the most responsible parties contributing to the early obesity. For example, in the modern era, children are allowed to consume any type of junk foods or processed foods. Processed meals such as McDonald’s, are not good for health and not suitable for children to have them frequently. Additionally, modern kids spend much more time playing computer games and watching television. Consequently, such activities encourage the children to get obese easily. Therefore, it is parent’s responsibility to take care of the children and to lead them with examples towards the healthy lifestyle. However, the menace of obesity can be fought. Education is the main way to tackle this issue. Both parents and teachers must educate students and offspring on the side effects of being obese. For instance, schools must introduce more physical activities such as sports to be part of the curriculum. On the other hand, parents should prepare homemade meals for their offspring and limit the time of their offspring playing computers. On top of that adults should allocate a timetable for the kids to do regular physical activities. When both parents and principals play their parts, it is inevitable that modern offspring will live a healthier life. To sum up, obesity is a serious issue in this modern era because it causes harmful effects on children’s health. The best approaches to deal with it are to provide guidance to the kids by parents and lectures. Although the problem is unlikely to be entirely eliminated in the short term, there are concrete steps to reduce the effects it is having on the current society.
It is an undeniable fact that
kids
nowadays suffer illness due to an obesity. This is becoming
increasingly
serious in
many
modern
nations. Although it threatens
many
societies, its effects can
also
be combated
successfully
. This essay looks at
some of the
root causes of the obesity, and suggest
some
solutions to address the problem.

First of all
, being obese creates other
many
side effects and multiple problems. In my opinion,
children
and
parents
are the most responsible parties contributing to the early obesity.
For example
, in the
modern
era,
children
are
allowed
to consume any type of junk foods or processed foods. Processed meals such as McDonald’s, are not
good
for health and not suitable for
children
to have them
frequently
.
Additionally
,
modern
kids
spend much more time playing computer games and watching television.
Consequently
, such activities encourage the
children
to
get
obese
easily
.
Therefore
, it is
parent’s
responsibility to take care of the
children
and to lead them with examples towards the healthy lifestyle.

However
, the menace of obesity can
be fought
. Education is the main way to tackle this issue. Both
parents
and teachers
must
educate students and
offspring
on the side effects of being obese.
For instance
, schools
must
introduce more physical activities such as sports to be part of the curriculum.
On the other hand
,
parents
should prepare homemade meals for their
offspring
and limit the time of their
offspring
playing computers.
On top of that
adults should allocate a timetable for the
kids
to do regular physical activities. When both
parents
and principals play their parts, it is inevitable that
modern
offspring
will
live
a healthier life.

To sum up, obesity is a serious issue in this
modern
era
because
it causes harmful effects on
children’s
health. The best approaches to deal with it are to provide guidance to the
kids
by
parents
and lectures. Although the problem is unlikely to be
entirely
eliminated in the short term, there are concrete steps to
reduce
the effects it is having on the
current
society.
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IELTS essay Children nowadays suffer more obesity.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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