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mixed countries are the interesting and developed countries

mixed countries are the interesting and developed countries 9lnwj
Due to the fact that many wealthy countries are mixed, some people bet that it's the main causative of its developed and interesting societies. Personally, I reckon that a lead community is generated when governments attract elites because they want to show their precedence, and they seek for better life. Firstly, in spite of the fact that combining people from various ethnicity sounds to be full of drawbacks, personal incentive helps massively in creating a modern country. Once people are from wide range of origins, this incites their best in order to proof that they are the best among their counterparts. Furthermore, almost all those migrant left their home countries seeking for best living conditions; therefore, they would extract maximum efforts. Consequently, this personal motive contribute in peaking innovation and entrepreneurial in any society. Secondly, since the harsh-imposed rules that destination countries put on people who want to come, this filters the candidates and makes elites the alone eligible to migrate. In light of this, as this kind of people gathering targets talented and flagship people, this helps to create a pioneer community. Furthermore, as people who have immigration mentality are generally open-minded, this facilitates the interaction between newly coming and indigenous. While all denominations preserve their identity, it helps with forming assorted community which is appealing from various people perspective. In occlusion, since multi affluence countries were basically formed depending on immigration, number of people claim it's the best way to create modern and interesting society. Personally, I believe that migrant should try their best otherwise their experience would be failure to create a better life. Also, destination countries laws play a vital role in hauling talented and open- mentality people.
Due to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are mixed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bet that it's the main causative of its developed and interesting societies.
Personally
, I reckon that a lead community
is generated
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
attract elites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their precedence, and they seek for better life.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that combining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various ethnicity sounds to be full of drawbacks, personal incentive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
massively
in creating a modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are from wide range of origins, this incites their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
in order to proof that they are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
among their counterparts.
Furthermore
, almost all those migrant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
seeking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
living conditions;
therefore
, they would extract maximum efforts.
Consequently
, this personal motive contribute in peaking innovation and entrepreneurial in any society.

Secondly
, since the harsh-imposed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that destination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
put on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, this filters the candidates and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
elites the alone eligible to migrate. In light of this, as this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gathering targets talented and flagship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to create a pioneer community.
Furthermore
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have immigration mentality are
generally
open-minded, this facilitates the interaction between
newly
coming and indigenous. While all denominations preserve their identity, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
with forming assorted community which is appealing from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perspective.

In occlusion, since multi affluence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
were
basically
formed depending on immigration, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim it's the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to create modern and interesting society.
Personally
, I believe that migrant should try their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
otherwise
their experience would be failure to create a better life.
Also
, destination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
laws play a vital role in hauling talented and open- mentality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay mixed countries are the interesting and developed countries

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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