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fdsafdfg erfheuf ehfuiwhafuewhfuah hudfhaoiuwlf

fdsafdfg erfheuf ehfuiwhafuewhfuah hudfhaoiuwlf brk3Y
It is believed that poor families’ children are better prepared for grown-ups’ issues than those in rich families. Personally, I express a total agreement with this point of view because of the following reasons which will be specified in this essay. First of all, living in unwealthy families giving the children more experiences when dealing with the problems of adults. In detail, it is obvious that most of these adolescents have to work earlier in life than others in order to share with their parents the pressure of the families’ income. This means that they have to face all the adults’ challenges sooner, which will help them to equip themselves with the precious experiences before officially becoming grown-ups. Additionally, these teens also have to cope with a greater amount of stress than their peers, which is an inevitable factor in every adult’s life. Specifically, because of working and studying at the same time, they have no choice but to live under the pressure of both sides, making it extremely hard for them to keep concentrate on their education. However, if they are able to overcome this, stress will no longer be a big deal to their lives in the future. As a result, poor children are usually received a better preparation for the challenges of the adults than the ones that are brought up in the rich families. To conclude, from my perspective, the unwealthy adolescents tend to be better at facing the grown-ups’ problems than the others as they have to get familiar with the working life while they are still at school and they must suffer from a lot of pressures much earlier in their lives.
It
is believed
that poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families’
children are better prepared for grown-ups’ issues than those in rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Personally
, I express a total agreement with this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following reasons which will
be specified
in this essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, living in
Possible spelling mistake found.
unwealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
giving the children more experiences when dealing with the problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
. In detail, it is obvious that most of these adolescents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work earlier in life than others in order to share with their parents the pressure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families’
income. This means that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults’
challenges sooner, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to equip themselves with the precious experiences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
officially
becoming grown-ups.

Additionally
, these teens
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with a greater amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
than their peers, which is an inevitable factor in every adult’s life.
Specifically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of working and studying at the same time, they have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under the pressure of both sides, making it
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
concentrate on their education.
However
, if they are able to overcome this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
will no longer be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deal to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the future.
As a result
, poor children are
usually
received a better preparation for the challenges of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
than the ones that
are brought
up in the rich families.

To conclude
, from my perspective, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unwealthy
adolescents tend to be better at facing the grown-ups’ problems than the others as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with the working life while they are
still
at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressures much earlier in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay fdsafdfg erfheuf ehfuiwhafuewhfuah hudfhaoiuwlf

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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