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Missions to explore space are hugely expensive, and there are problems on Earth which demand attention. The number of these missions needs to be reduced. Do you agree or disagree?

Missions to explore space are hugely expensive, and there are problems on Earth which demand attention. The number of these missions needs to be reduced. oY99
Space missions cost a large amount of money and there are other important matter on earth, which needs our focus, so space missions should be carried out in a limited quantity. However, I do not agree with it. To begin with, It is irrefutable that the space missions requires a large investments and failure of such missions result in the loss of a large amount of the money, which could be used in solving other problems, which arises on the Earth. First, there should be an annual budget for the space exploration, which not only be strictly followed by the space organizations but also should be monitored by the government. Because fixing a budget would help the space organizations to plan their missions according to the allocatted money, rather than spending them without planning. Second, government regulations will develop a sence of responsibilty in the employees and would force them to follow the budget. For example, The space organization in the country India (I. S. R. O) developed a space pot, which is the cheapest space pot in the world, they achieved this because of their governments policy and following a strict budget. Furthermore, encouraging the private organizations to participate in the space projects would help the government organizations to share their financial burden. Since their are very few private companies in space sector, majority of responsibilty falls under government sector. For instance, an American based private company Spacex has developed a joint projects to sent the rockets to the space and will take care of all the financial requirements. To conclude, reducing space missions is not the solution but allocating a strict budget and allowing private companies to take part in space projects would solve the problem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Space
missions cost a large amount of money and there are other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
matter on earth, which needs our focus,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
missions should
be carried
out in a limited quantity.
However
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, It is irrefutable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
missions requires a large investments and failure of such missions result in the loss of a large amount of the money, which could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in solving other problems, which arises on the Earth.
First
, there should be an annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
strictly
followed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
should
be monitored
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
fixing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
to plan their missions according to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
allocatted
money,
rather
than spending them without planning. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
regulations will develop a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sence
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
in the employees and would force them to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
.
For example
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
in the country India (I. S. R. O) developed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
pot, which is the cheapest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
pot in the world, they achieved this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
policy and following a strict budget.

Furthermore
, encouraging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
to participate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
projects would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
to share their financial burden. Since
Did you mean "there"?
their
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
sector,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
falls under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
sector.
For instance
, an American based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
Possible spelling mistake found.
Spacex
has developed a joint projects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
the rockets to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and will take care of all the financial requirements.

To conclude
, reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
missions is not the solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
allocating a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
and allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
projects would solve the problem.
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IELTS essay Missions to explore space are hugely expensive, and there are problems on Earth which demand attention. The number of these missions needs to be reduced.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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