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Messi is going to change his club and after a few years end his career. Do you agree or disagree?

Messi is going to change his club and after a few years end his career. POag
According to the last news, the greatest player in football history, Lionel Messi, decided to leave his club, FC Barcelona, in this summer and play for another team until finishing his career. I think that this decision will be true and benificial for him and his current team. First of all, Messi is coming across some problems which is related to the management of Barcelona and he is not showing his great performance as before. In other words, he is tired from critics who think that only Messi is responsible for every lost games of the team. In this case, the superman disapproves of this point and seems not to try to play incredibly as usual. For example, since starting a new season, he has scored only six goals for FC Barcelona. This is the worst result as compared to his previous achievements in the past, because until this time he had always scored at least 20 goals before. Therefore, if he is not satisfied from his team, leaving FC Barcelona will be a good solution for him. Furthermore, Messi should prove his exceptional skills in other championships. It is clear that he has been playing for only one club since starting his career. Although this man has already set up several records in football history and gained the name "The Greatest of All Times", some people still claim that he cannot play well in other places. To prove that this opinion is untrue, he should test yourself in other championships. For instance, his game style is more suitable for FC Manchester City and I firmly beliave that this guy can achieve success in England Premier League. To conclude, I think that Messi should change his club and join in another famous team, because he is not happy in FC Barcelona now and many football fans are expecting to see his phenomenal performance in other championships.
According to the last news, the greatest player in football history, Lionel Messi, decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
his club, FC Barcelona, in this summer and play for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
until finishing his career. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this decision will be true and
Possible spelling mistake found.
benificial
for him and his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
team.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Messi is coming across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems which
is related
to the management of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Barcelona and
he is not showing his great performance as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, he
is tired
from critics who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Messi is responsible for every lost games of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
In this case
, the superman disapproves of this point and seems not to try to play
incredibly
as usual.
For example
, since starting a new season, he has scored
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
six goals for FC Barcelona. This is the worst result as compared to his previous achievements in the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
until this time he had always scored at least 20 goals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Therefore
, if he is not satisfied from his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, leaving FC Barcelona will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution for him.

Furthermore
, Messi should prove his exceptional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
championships. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that he has been playing for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one club since starting his career. Although this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has already set up several records in football history and gained the name
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The Greatest of All Times
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
claim that he cannot play well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places. To prove that this opinion is untrue, he should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
yourself in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
championships.
For instance
, his game style is more suitable for FC Manchester City and I
firmly
Possible spelling mistake found.
beliave
that this guy can achieve success in England Premier League.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that Messi should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his club and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is not happy in FC Barcelona
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
football fans are expecting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
his phenomenal performance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
championships.
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IELTS essay Messi is going to change his club and after a few years end his career.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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