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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic? q3GD
Nowadays, people are consuming more junk food and unhealthy diet to cause obseity compare to past. This easy will examine the cause and measures to this problem. The two main causes for this problems are hectic work shedule and over consumption of outside food. Firstly, the life of a person became more busy with their works and also electronic applicants made their life simple. For instance, more usuage of the electronic gadgets made them lazy without any physcial actiivity like washing clothes, purchasing goods from supermarket etc. Because of this, lack of physical work the pupil are becoming overweight. Secondly, it is an crucial factor which is effecting the human life due to hectic work the population are depending mainly on street food. For example, in India large members are working in software organisations and there is no time for making food and consuming outside food and also junk food. Thus, the people are depending on the unhealthy food which leads to overweight for causing number of health issues. some solutions to this probelm are consuming healthy food and addition of the physical exercise in their lifestyle. Furthermore, eating the health food which makes life healthy and controlled from illness. For example, in daily life consuming healthy food like idli, green vegetables, and non-oil food which controls the dangerous diseases like cancer, diabities etc. On the other hand, including physical exercise in their routine life also makes the people energetic and stay away from the viruses. To sumup, due to hectic work shedule and over consumption of street food and be controlled by habituating physcial exercise and having healthy food to minimize obesity.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are consuming more junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and unhealthy diet to cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
obseity
compare to past. This easy will examine the cause and measures to this problem.

The two main causes for
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems are hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
shedule
and over consumption of outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of a person became more busy with their works and
also
electronic applicants made their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
simple.
For instance
, more
Possible spelling mistake found.
usuage
of the electronic gadgets made them lazy without any
Possible spelling mistake found.
physcial
Possible spelling mistake found.
actiivity
like washing clothes, purchasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from supermarket etc.
Because of this
, lack of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
the pupil are becoming overweight.
Secondly
, it is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
crucial factor which is effecting the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
due to hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
the population
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
mainly
on street
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food
.
For example
, in India large members are working in software
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
and there is no time for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and consuming outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
also
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on the unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which leads to overweight for causing number of health issues.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
solutions to this
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probelm
are consuming
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healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and addition of the physical exercise in their lifestyle.
Furthermore
, eating the health
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food
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and controlled from illness.
For example
, in daily
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life
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
idli
, green vegetables, and non-oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which controls the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases like cancer,
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diabities
etc.
On the other hand
, including physical exercise in their routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
energetic and stay away from the viruses.

To
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sumup
, due to hectic
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work
Possible spelling mistake found.
shedule
and over consumption of street
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food
and
be controlled
by habituating
Possible spelling mistake found.
physcial
exercise and having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to minimize obesity.
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IELTS essay Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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