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men are more intrested in sports

men are more intrested in sports 2KeGk
Nowadays, sports has came too far. It became on of the most paid careers and many people claims that its a man job more than a woman. Men has more strength than women. Also, they have stronger muscles than women as they tend to have more body mass. Men are not afraid to get bruised from more violent sports like boxing. In addition, we see them more on sports activities. On the other hand, women are more patient than men therefore they play better. Many female athletes have shown their ability in sports such as salwa eid and even won prizes. Furthermore, as the time passed by we saw many women attending different type of sports even hard ones. In my opinion both sides showed interest in sports and I don’t believe that sports get defined by gender or age. As long as we practice hard we will achieve our goals.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has
Use past participle here: "come".
came
too far. It became
Did you mean "one"?
on
of the most paid careers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
claims
that
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
job more than a woman.

Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "man has".
Men has
more strength than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Also
, they have stronger muscles than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as they tend to have more body mass.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
are not afraid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bruised from more violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like boxing.
In addition
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more patient than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
therefore
they play better.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
female athletes have shown their ability in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
salwa
Possible spelling mistake found.
eid
and even won prizes.
Furthermore
, as the time passed by we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
attending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
ones.

In my opinion both sides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and I don’t believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
defined by gender or age.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
long as we practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
we will achieve our goals.
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IELTS essay men are more intrested in sports

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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