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Medicine personal statement

Medicine personal statement 0wRkn
The thing that sparked my interest in medicine is my favourite subject in school. I get so excited every time when I have Biology class, the most interesting part for me is Human biology. When I was young I suffered from allergies, My mom had to take me to hospital many times a month to get treatment. Biology is the subject the can make me figure out about my body system and how it works. Since I knew that I have passion on medical, I always try to find a way to increase my dream to be comes true. Starting with studying in school, I keep study harder and harder every time that I think about myself wearing white coat and providing healthcare to my patients. However, to be a doctor is not that easy, I additionally learning outside classroom to gain my knowledge not only academic but also skills that will help me grow into successful doctor. Instead of going out with my friends when I have free time, I volunteer myself to help people in hospital and apply to the competition in school to work in Pathology major and had been selected as a trainee. With my knowledge, my keenness to work and my work experience I trustfully that studying medicine is the right choice for me.
The thing that sparked my interest in medicine is my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
subject in school. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when I have Biology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, the most interesting part for me is Human biology. When I was young I suffered from allergies, My mom had to take me to hospital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
a month to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
treatment. Biology is the subject the can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me figure out about my body system and how it works. Since I knew that I have passion on medical, I always try to find a way to increase my dream to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
true. Starting with studying in school, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
study harder and harder every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about myself wearing white coat and providing healthcare to my patients.
However
, to be a doctor is not that easy, I
additionally
learning outside classroom to gain my knowledge not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
academic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me grow into successful doctor.
Instead
of going out with my friends when I have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I volunteer myself to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in hospital and apply to the competition in school to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in Pathology major and had
been selected
as a trainee. With my knowledge, my keenness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience I
trustfully
that studying medicine is the right choice for me.
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IELTS essay Medicine personal statement

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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