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Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development? v.7

Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 7
Concept of marriage was introduced in ancient age for development of next generation. When the concept of civilization was introduced at that time people started to follow the marriage concept. Many ancient cave wall painting showed that marriage is one of the oldest ritual followed by human beings. In this two people decide to live together and take care of each other and their offspring. Methods of getting married changes as cast and religion as well as region changes. Some tribes marry in front of fire or sea while other may choose to do it in front of god. In ancient age two people decided to stay together and they live together. There was no specific ritual. As time passed community system was developed. The grant of community became necessary for living together. Parents call their relatives and friends to marriages asking them to give blessings for newly weds. Now a days in many countries a girl and boy cannot live together without prior permission. This permission is called as marriage. As we move on in time people thought that as many as people we call on ceremony will increase on prestige in community. They felt that if people are thinking and talking about how we spent money on marriage will increase our position. Someone said that marriages are fixed in heaven and there is no need to spend extra money on such ceremonies. Arranging money for such things is not everyone' s cup of tea so few tend to take loan to celebrate marriages which is making them financially weaker. Indian businessman Mr Mukesh Ambani spent crores and millions in daughters marriage. For rich people this much expenses are bearable. When it comes to small and poor families they barely manage their daily expenses, marriages are making them poorer. The change is marriage system is giving negative impact on society. There is no need to do so. To prevent this government has given option of register marriage.
Concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
was introduced
in ancient age for development of
next
generation.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
the concept of civilization
was introduced
at that time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
concept.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
ancient cave wall painting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is one of the oldest ritual followed by human beings. In this two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together and take care of each other and their offspring. Methods of getting married
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
as cast and religion
as well
as region
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
tribes marry in front of fire or sea while other may choose to do it in front of god.

In ancient age two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decided to stay
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
together and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together. There was no specific ritual.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
time passed community system
was developed
. The grant of community became necessary for living together. Parents call their relatives and friends to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
asking them to give blessings for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
newly weds
.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries a girl and boy cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together without prior permission. This permission
is called
as marriage.

As we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on in time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we call on ceremony will increase on prestige in community. They felt that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are thinking and talking about how we spent money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
will increase our position. Someone said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
in heaven and there is no need to spend extra money on such ceremonies. Arranging money for such things is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
everyone&
#039; s cup of tea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
few tend to take loan to celebrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
which is making them
financially
weaker. Indian businessman Mr Mukesh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ambani
spent crores and millions in daughters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
. For rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
this
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
expenses are bearable. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and poor families they
barely
manage their daily expenses,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
are making them poorer.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
system is giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on society. There is no need to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
option of register
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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