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Manymajor cities are facing a housing crisis as they cannot provide enough land for new buildings.Some local governments believe the problem could be solved by reassigning park land for residential development, because this land would be better used for housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Manymajor cities are facing a housing crisis as they cannot provide enough land for new buildings. Some local governments believe the problem could be solved by reassigning park land for residential development, because this land would be better used for housing. P30B
Urban migration is causing an extreme pressure on living places and infrastructure in many huge cities all over the world. Consequently, some people suggest to reduce the area of parks, as they seems to be an unnecessary luxuriousness, due to new buildings for more residents. While it is true that these green places can take a lot of space, they play a much more important role in the city as one might expect. These public lands fulfil various absolutely essential functions to the residents. At this topic, we are not just talking about a green meadow and some trees between grey buildings, it is about the places of towns, where the citizens relax, walk, read, meet each other and do any different kind of sports outside of their apartments, jobs and transport vehicles. Especially in a world, the way of life is dominated by meritocracy, parks often mean an area of tranquillity and opportunity to rest one’s mind, in contrast to all the other, consistently busy parts of the city. Thus, to go one step further, these areas are an important part of the residents’ health. Doubtless, nature and even these green spaces can prevent people from depressions, burn-out and several other mental illnesses by just breathing some fresh air, relaxing and getting out of the daily routine for a short time. In addition, as mentioned right before, city planners have to consider carefully if building constructions at the expense of the people’s well-being and the environment is the best solution. Trees and other plants, for instance, are of significant importance for quality air by removing pollutants and increasing hydration. Furthermore, great parks and green land are often a key factor to assess the beauty of a city. This includes also how liveable a certain place seems to be. In conclusion, these public areas are far too important in every city to be removed, as they are a special place to be, to meet friends or just to relax from the stressful everyday-life. Besides, there is a proven positive influence to the health. Consequently, despite the enormous pressure for housing other, less quality-of-life-destroying, solutions have to be found.
Urban migration is causing an extreme pressure on living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and infrastructure in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
all over the world.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of parks, as they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "seem"
seems
to be an unnecessary luxuriousness, due to new buildings for more residents. While it is true that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
space, they play a much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the city as one might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
.

These public lands fulfil various
absolutely
essential functions to the residents. At this topic, we are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
talking about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
meadow and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trees between
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
buildings, it is about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
of towns, where the citizens relax, walk, read,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and do any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of sports
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
their apartments, jobs and transport vehicles.
Especially
in a world, the way of life
is dominated
by meritocracy, parks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
mean an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tranquillity
and opportunity to rest one’s mind,
in contrast
to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
consistently
busy parts of the city.
Thus
, to go one step
further
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the residents’ health. Doubtless, nature and even these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
spaces can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from depressions, burn-out and several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
mental illnesses by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
breathing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fresh air, relaxing and getting out of the daily routine for a short time.

In addition
, as mentioned right
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, city planners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider
carefully
if building constructions at the expense of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s well-being and the environment is the best solution. Trees and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
plants,
for instance
, are of significant importance for quality air by removing pollutants and increasing hydration.
Furthermore
, great parks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
land are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a key factor to assess the beauty of a city. This includes
also
how liveable a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
seems to be.

In conclusion
, these public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are far too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in every city to
be removed
, as they are a special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to be, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
friends or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to relax from the stressful everyday-life.
Besides
, there is a proven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence to the health.
Consequently
, despite the enormous pressure for housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, less quality-of-life-destroying, solutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be found
.

IELTS essay Manymajor cities are facing a housing crisis as they cannot provide enough land for new buildings. Some local governments believe the problem could be solved by reassigning park land for residential development, because this land would be better used for housing.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Manymajor cities are facing a housing crisis as they cannot provide enough land for new buildings.Some local governments believe the problem could be solved by reassigning park land for residential development, because this land would be better used for housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?