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Many young people today know about international pop and movie stars than famous people in past

Many young people today know about international pop and movie stars than famous people in past 0ER79
Obviously, massive number of stars in pop and movie has increased last two decades than past result. despite number of them, quality is low among them in comparison past. Now I will delibrate this argument in this essay. Firstly, children are keen on knowing about contemporary stars in these days definitely because of their habit from adolescence. Moreover entertainmen is in first step in their life, it denotes challenges are strenge for them that's why they do more prefer listening modern celebrities. Nevertheless, historical costoms must not be removed entirely from life of sibling, sharply. To make movement in this way, having advertisement and improving concert could be handy methods to make history dourable of famous people in the past. Secondly, if government put a few condition on theatre and music party to be held in periodically for young humans, those statements will ameliorate feast with obsolete Memory among young steeply. Furthemore, society is able to ameliorate tournaments into schools pupils dedicate secular ritual beside with old production of past heroes due to contemplate themIn some times. In the other hand, it is often said that history is main reason for prospective future. Following to this order, concentrate the memorable person in young mind cane accuracy of inhabitants In conclusion, without lesson of history, future become achromatic. It might be complex to comprehend abstruse words of famouse people in the past, although we must make their past dourable, for ourself to be perennial
Obviously
, massive number of stars in pop and movie has increased last two decades than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
result.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
despite
number of them, quality is low among them
in comparison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I will
Possible spelling mistake found.
delibrate
this argument in this essay.

Firstly
, children are keen on knowing about contemporary stars in these days definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their habit from adolescence.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertainmen
is in
first
step in their life, it denotes challenges are
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenge
for them that's why they do more prefer listening modern celebrities.

Nevertheless
, historical
Possible spelling mistake found.
costoms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be removed
entirely
from life of sibling,
sharply
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
movement in this way, having advertisement and improving concert could be handy methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
history
Possible spelling mistake found.
dourable
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
Secondly
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
put a few condition on
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and music party to
be held
in
periodically
for young humans, those statements will ameliorate feast with obsolete Memory among young
steeply
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthemore
, society is able to ameliorate tournaments into schools pupils dedicate secular ritual beside with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
heroes due to contemplate
Possible spelling mistake found.
themIn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times.

In the other hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that history is main reason for prospective future. Following to this order, concentrate the memorable person in young mind cane accuracy of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
inhabitants


In conclusion
, without lesson of history, future become achromatic. It might be complex to comprehend abstruse words of
Possible spelling mistake found.
famouse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, although we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
Possible spelling mistake found.
dourable
, for
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
to be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
perennial
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IELTS essay Many young people today know about international pop and movie stars than famous people in past

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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