Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many young people today are too worried about the way they look and this causes them problems. Do you agree or disagree? What is the situation in your country?

The huge number of youth considerably concern about the problem relating to appearances. I fundamentally agree with this statement. Nowadays, dramatic advertising has raised the rate of Adolescence's dissatisfaction of body shape. Unfortunately, in Iran due to some types of public restriction the young persons opt to show further details off. Whereas, from my point of view, commercialization of Communities severely affects immature people, dealing with fashion world to have suitable appearance has made more difficulties. Furthermore, youth are forced to miss their financial resources due to impression others. As a result of protecting the body shape, young persons may face various problems such as economic, educational, psychology and social. As an illustration, showing an attractive girl in any advertisement of lotion unconsciously may effect girls taste. However, in Iran are more limitation such as hijab on covering body and face, the youngsters professionally depict the appearance. Another point is that Iranian young generation cannot demonstrate their own style such as hairstyle, therefore, wearing odd clothes and tending to weird makeup. As you know, social problems such as going jail Only due to unveiling or be offenders just for different appearance has created for younger adulthood. As a result, the contemporary generation in Iran may not be able to care about their look like others because of social issues. Conclusively, the young people care about their face and body shape. The majority of Worrying has affected from Commercials, even though they are not suitable. On the other hand, the Iranian youngsters also willing to pay their appearance attention but the social differences do not allow to show them off.
The huge number of youth
considerably
concern about the problem relating to
appearances
. I
fundamentally
agree
with this statement. Nowadays, dramatic advertising has raised the rate of Adolescence's dissatisfaction of
body
shape. Unfortunately, in Iran due to
some
types of public restriction the
young
persons opt to
show
further
details
off.

Whereas, from my point of view, commercialization of Communities
severely
affects immature
people
, dealing with fashion world to have suitable
appearance
has made more difficulties.
Furthermore
, youth
are forced
to miss their financial resources due to impression others.
As a result
of protecting the
body
shape,
young
persons may face various problems such as economic, educational, psychology and
social
. As an illustration, showing an attractive girl in any
advertisement of
lotion
unconsciously
may
effect
girls taste.

However
, in Iran are more limitation such as hijab on covering
body
and face, the youngsters
professionally
depict the
appearance
. Another point is that Iranian
young
generation cannot demonstrate their
own
style such as hairstyle,
therefore
, wearing odd clothes and tending to weird makeup. As you know,
social
problems such as going jail
Only
due to unveiling or be offenders
just
for
different
appearance
has created for younger adulthood.
As a result
, the contemporary generation in Iran may not be able to care about their look like others
because
of
social
issues.

Conclusively
, the
young
people
care about their face and
body
shape. The majority of Worrying has
affected
from Commercials,
even though
they are not suitable.
On the other hand
, the Iranian youngsters
also
willing to pay their
appearance
attention
but
the
social
differences do not
allow
to
show
them off.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many young people today are too worried about the way they look and this causes them problems. What is the situation in your country?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts