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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend? You should write at least 250 words.

These days we have a lot of competitives going on, so we have competitives on universities, jobs and between the companies. So, some people think that the competitives is good phenomena. While others believe that it is terrible and has a horrible effect on people. I will discuss both sides in this essay and will draw my personal conclusion. In one hand, they say that competitives is bad because it is lead to try to be perfectionist and that would never happen. So, employees get disappointed and hate their selves. And that has physical and physiological damages on employees. For example, the rate of lonliness and depression rise and rise every year. So, that why some think it is bad and must be cancled. On the other hand, we have a number of people say that the competitive have good effect on individuals also like the competitives among companies and make the society better like compititive for jobs or universities. To illustrate, the competitives between technology companies such an Apple, Samsung and others to who would make the best product for the customer by cheapest price and who would provide bigger memory, better camera, etc. Hence the belief that we should keep competitive going on. In addition, as I said before, the compatitive make society better by competitive about jobs and universities. For an instance, the companies and universities hold the competitive for one reason, they want to have best collections from the people who apply on this oppurtinity. This proves clearly that is a good phenomena. In conclusion, after a careful analysis for both point views, I believe that we should keep the competitives going on and it it benefit us and companies at the same time.
These days we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
competitives
going on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we have
Possible spelling mistake found.
competitives on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, jobs and between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
competitives
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
phenomena. While others believe that it is terrible and has a horrible effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I will discuss both sides in this essay and will draw my personal conclusion.

In one hand, they say that
Possible spelling mistake found.
competitives
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is lead to try to be perfectionist and that would never happen.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
disappointed and hate their selves. And that has physical and physiological damages on employees.
For example
, the rate of
Possible spelling mistake found.
lonliness
and depression rise and rise every year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
cancled
.

On the other hand
, we have a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effect on individuals
also
like the
Possible spelling mistake found.
competitives
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the society better like
Possible spelling mistake found.
compititive
for jobs or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. To illustrate, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
competitives
between technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
such an Apple, Samsung
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
to who would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best product for the customer by cheapest price and who would provide bigger memory, better camera, etc.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the belief that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
going on.

In addition
, as I said
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
compatitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
society better by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
about jobs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. For an instance, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
for one reason, they want to
A determiner is probably missing here: “have the best”.
have best
collections from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who apply on this
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppurtinity
. This proves
clearly
that is
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
phenomena.

In conclusion
, after a careful analysis for both point views, I believe that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
competitives
going on and
It seems you either mean “it is”, “if it”, “it” or there is a comma missing: “it, it”.
it it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “benefits”.
benefit
us and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
at the same time.
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IELTS essay Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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