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Many young people today are leaving their homes in the countryside to move to cities. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to stay in rural areas?

Many young people today are leaving their homes in the countryside to move to cities. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to stay in rural areas? PK9p
Life in cities is getting lively from year to year, because many people found that living in the countryside is difficult and people seek better facilities and job opportunities in the city. Developing living standards and increasing manufacturing industries might overcome the problem. Each year many unsatisfied inhabitants migrate to the cities because of lack of facilities, such as hospitals, education centres, libraries, shopping centres, restaurants and entertainment places. Motive and striving accompany when they see those facilities in adverts which they can’t have in their countryside. Consequently, they start to move to the city. The primary remedy that the government should implement is developing living standards. Students should have good education, children should spend their leisure time in modern playgrounds and people should be satisfied with shopping centers and entertaining places. In fact unemployment rate is used to grow in the countryside, because demand on jobs is higher than supply and most jobs are badly paid, that’s why people often feel stress and get anxious about their future. As a result, they decide to try their future career in the city. If manufacturing industries and new job opportunities were increased by the government they would not migrate to urban areas by leaving their sweet home. Manufacturing industries employ thousands of people with jobs and contribute good revenue for the local economy. In order to prevent overcrowding in urban areas by migration, the government should take into account that facilities, living standards and job opportunities are important for all regions of the country.
Life in
cities
is getting lively from year to year,
because
many
people
found that
living
in the countryside is difficult and
people
seek better facilities and
job
opportunities in the city. Developing
living
standards and increasing manufacturing industries might overcome the problem.

Each year
many
unsatisfied inhabitants migrate to the
cities
because
of lack of facilities, such as hospitals, education
centres
, libraries, shopping
centres
, restaurants and entertainment places. Motive and striving
accompany
when they
see
those facilities in adverts which they can’t have in their countryside.
Consequently
, they
start
to
move
to the city. The primary remedy that the
government
should implement is developing
living
standards. Students should have
good
education, children should spend their leisure time in modern playgrounds and
people
should
be satisfied
with shopping centers and entertaining places.

In fact unemployment rate is
used
to grow in the countryside,
because
demand on
jobs
is higher than supply and most
jobs
are
badly
paid, that’s why
people
often
feel
stress
and
get
anxious about their future.
As a result
, they decide to try their future career in the city. If manufacturing industries and new
job
opportunities
were increased
by the
government
they would not migrate to urban areas by leaving their sweet home. Manufacturing industries employ thousands of
people
with
jobs
and contribute
good
revenue for the local economy.

In order to
prevent
overcrowding in urban areas by migration, the
government
should take into account that facilities,
living
standards and
job
opportunities are
important
for all regions of the country.
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IELTS essay Many young people today are leaving their homes in the countryside to move to cities. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to stay in rural areas?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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