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Many young people today are leaving their homes in the countryside to move to cities. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to stay in rural areas?

Many young people today are leaving their homes in the countryside to move to cities. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to stay in rural areas? 2OwJ
Nowadays, lots of youngsters are migrating to cities from their countryside. This essay will discuss why they are moving to urban areas and how they can be motivated to stay in rural areas. One of the main reasons urging young people to leave their villages might be to have more choices. Cities offer more diverse forms of education such as college and universities, entertainment and everyday products. For example, young people are able to choose to study a certain major in a college or university with better facilities. There are lots of recreational places for enjoyment such as modernized parks, concerts, theatres, live matches in sport etc. in urban places. Also, people in cities have more options for products such as clothes, up-to-date technological gadgets, tropical fruits like avocado, green mangos, golden banana, papaya, lychee etc. in supermarkets in downtowns. Another reason to prefer residing in cities could be access to an array of amazing career opportunities with competitive salaries and benefits. A lot of available jobs are offered by potential companies in cities. For example, one of my friends is working at LUKOIL Uzbekistan Operating Co which is specialized in oil and gas as well as construction projects in Tashkent city. The company offers for its employees a greater salary, sport facilities and training in free of charge. Furthermore, living in cities allows one to take advantage of another point of favor – convenience. The people can get all the amenities of modern and higher standard of life in urban areas. For instance, cities have well structured transportation systems and networking such as underground and fast delivery services. A number of actions can be taken to motivate young people to stay in their countryside. Governments have a great role in this occasion. First of all, governments should fund more on establishing high schools with various programs. Secondly, rural areas ought to be urbanized by international institutions with the initiative of governments. Third, there needs to be given business enterprises incentives to set up its branches in the countryside by tax system. In conclusion, more and more young people are moving to urban areas from the countryside due to the availability of more choices, career perspectives and higher standard of life. To encourage them to stay, governments should fund more on urbanization of rural areas.
Nowadays, lots of youngsters are migrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. This essay will discuss why they are moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and how they can
be motivated
to stay in rural areas.

One of the main reasons urging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their villages might be to have more choices.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
offer more diverse forms of education such as college and universities, entertainment and everyday products.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to choose to study a certain major in a college or university with better facilities. There are lots of recreational places for enjoyment such as modernized parks, concerts,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
matches in sport etc. in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
places.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have more options for products such as clothes, up-to-date technological gadgets, tropical fruits like avocado, green
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "mangoes", the plural form of the noun 'mango'?
mangos
, golden banana, papaya,
Possible spelling mistake found.
lychee
etc. in supermarkets in
Possible spelling mistake found.
downtowns
.

Another reason to prefer residing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
could be access to an array of amazing career opportunities with competitive salaries and benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
available jobs
are offered
by potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For example
, one of my friends is working at
Possible spelling mistake found.
LUKOIL
Uzbekistan Operating Co which
is specialized
in oil and gas
as well
as construction projects in Tashkent city. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
offers for its employees a greater salary, sport facilities and training in free of charge.
Furthermore
, living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
one to take advantage of another point of favor
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
convenience. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the amenities of modern and higher standard of life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well structured
transportation systems and networking such as underground and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
delivery services.

A number of actions can
be taken
to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
have a great role in this occasion.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should fund more on establishing high schools with various programs.
Secondly
, rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
ought to
be urbanized
by international institutions with the initiative of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. Third, there needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
business enterprises incentives to set up its branches in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
by tax system.

In conclusion
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
due to the availability of more choices, career perspectives and higher standard of life. To encourage them to stay,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should fund more on urbanization of rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
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IELTS essay Many young people today are leaving their homes in the countryside to move to cities. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to stay in rural areas?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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