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Many young people today are leaving their homes in the countryside to move to cities. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to stay in rural areas?

Many young people today are leaving their homes in the countryside to move to cities. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to stay in rural areas? Q09y
Nowadays, more and more people are moving from countryside houses into urban cities. Because many youngsters find better life in cities rather than rural areas. However, there are other primary aspects such as employment, education, medicine, and good life amenities. Furthermore I will consider both sites to solve our issue. First of all the main deal is unemployment, which causes big troubles for youngsters. Urban cities full varieties of opportunities for individuals to provide career and business. Another deal is education, the significance of schools, colleges and universities located in the cities. In addition megacities have a large number of ethnic cultures, conveniences such as supermarkets, sport clubs and cinemas. One of the solutions to decrease migration in rural areas government should support farms and companies in the countrysides to create new workplaces and send teachers, work experts to teach and aid in particular spheres. Furthermore, they should spend a large amount of money to open new education centres and medical buildings to give better medical services and education. Moreover they should provide and extend the life conditions in these areas. Another aspect is that the transport system must be increased in numbers. After all probably the majority of people do not move to the big cities. In conclusion, personally I can say that government take more responsibility for small towns and countrysides rather than megacities. However, to keep in balance they have to modernize and civilize non-urban zones.
Nowadays, more and more
people
are moving from countryside
houses
into urban
cities
.
Because
many
youngsters find better life in
cities
rather
than rural areas.
However
, there are other primary aspects such as employment,
education
, medicine, and
good
life amenities.
Furthermore
I will consider both sites to solve our issue.

First of all
the main deal is unemployment, which causes
big
troubles for youngsters. Urban
cities
full varieties of opportunities for individuals to provide career and business. Another deal is
education
, the significance of schools, colleges and universities located in the
cities
. In
addition
megacities
have
a large number of
ethnic cultures, conveniences such as supermarkets, sport clubs and cinemas.

One of the solutions to decrease migration in rural
areas
government
should support farms and
companies
in the countrysides to create new workplaces and
send
teachers, work experts to teach and aid
in particular
spheres.
Furthermore
, they should spend a large amount of money to open new
education
centres
and medical buildings to give better medical services and
education
.
Moreover
they should provide and extend the life conditions in these areas. Another aspect is that the transport system
must
be increased
in numbers.
After
all
probably
the majority of
people
do not
move
to the
big
cities.

In conclusion
,
personally
I can say that
government
take more responsibility for

small
towns and countrysides
rather
than
megacities
.
However
, to
keep
in balance they
have to
modernize and civilize non-urban zones.
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IELTS essay Many young people today are leaving their homes in the countryside to move to cities. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to stay in rural areas?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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