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Many young people today are leaving their homes in the countryside to move to cities. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to stay in rural areas?

Many young people today are leaving their homes in the countryside to move to cities. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to stay in rural areas? RGGV
Today some people are of the believe that success comes after working well as a teamwork while others think that leader is a vital factor of achievement. I am of the view that a good leader conquers with the help of a good team. Working as a team gives opportunity to have a variety of ideas. From time to time manufacturing or service companies will be needed for innovations. Having supportive and strong ideas lead to make the best decision by choosing the most suitable ideas. Good teamwork always supports each other and helps with difficult tasks. These supporting strategies develop group skills. As a result perfect unity performs into almost success. Team working is often just like a competition area, everyone tries to do their best. Consequently, new and effective methods, innovations and experience come after hyhealthy competition. However, good teamwork is not perfect without a good leader, because the final decision will be made by the leader. Sometimes too many ideas in a group lead to confusion. Because of this leader has to know what to choose and when to choose. Most leaders are skilled with leading experience and this saves time and money for the company. Mostly good leaders can motivate the team by creating a convenient environment. Leaders are the status of well known brand companies, because they can convince customers. For instance Elon Musk and Steve Jobs can be brilliant example. Gaining trust is when customers are confident when they know about the company and leader. In Turkey, book lovers buy any book if they see “Timaj” publishing brand on the cover, because they know that they produce the best things. I am of the think that good team without a leader is like a hot-dog without sausage. Company can gain entire success only by keeping the leader and team in balance.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that success
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
after working well as a teamwork while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
is a vital factor of achievement. I am of the view that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
conquers with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
team.

Working as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
gives opportunity to have a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. From time to time manufacturing or service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will
be needed
for innovations. Having supportive and strong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best decision by choosing the most suitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
teamwork always supports each other and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
with difficult tasks. These supporting strategies develop group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result perfect unity performs into almost success.

Team working is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like a competition area, everyone tries to do their best.
Consequently
, new and effective methods, innovations and experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
after
Possible spelling mistake found.
hyhealthy
competition.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
teamwork is not perfect without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the final decision will
be made
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in a group lead to confusion.
Because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
know what to choose and when to choose.

Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
are skilled
with leading experience and this saves time and money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
can motivate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
by creating a convenient environment.

Leaders are the status of well known brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can convince customers.
For instance
Elon Musk and Steve Jobs can be brilliant example. Gaining trust is when customers are confident when they know about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
. In Turkey, book lovers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any book if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
“
Possible spelling mistake found.
Timaj
” publishing brand on the cover,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know that they produce the best things.

I am of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
is like
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'hot-dog' is correct. If 'hot-dog' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a hot-dog
without sausage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
can gain entire success
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by keeping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
in balance.
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IELTS essay Many young people today are leaving their homes in the countryside to move to cities. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to stay in rural areas?

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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