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Many young people nowadays want to become famous in different fields, especially in entertainment. Write an essay to an educated reader about the advantages and disadvantages of becoming a famous person and give your own opinion.

Many young people nowadays want to become famous in different fields, especially in entertainment. Write an essay to an educated reader about the advantages and disadvantages of becoming a famous person and give your own opinion. 52LQD
Many young people today aspire to be famous in various fields, particularly entertainment. Fame seems to appeal to everyone and above all young people. They love to be a celebrity or become a celebrity to change their life. But is becoming famous as easy as people think? Let's take a look at the biggest advantages and disadvantages of being a celebrity in the entertainment industry. The first thing that needs to be mentioned is the positives of being a celebrity. One obvious benefit that popularity brings is a high level of income. The amount of money earned from movies or TV shows is many times greater than the salary of ordinary workers and officials. Celebrities such as actors, singers, or models can easily earn super-profitable advertising contracts, becoming the face of many different brands. Whereby, they can secure their finances, own a lot of real estate, and travel wherever if they want. For example, Korean actor Kim Soo Hyun can earn a huge salary of 423, 000 USD per episode of 'One Ordinary Day' an amount that ordinary people have to work for many years to get. In addition, they can also meet and get to know elite people in society to help them grow and especially have fans who always accompany, love, and support them this makes their lives are interesting and meaningful. Besides the benefits, being a celebrity also has a lot of disadvantages. The most prominent is that their private lives are violated. Every job or behavior is constantly updated on Facebook, Instagram, etc. . . Celebrities have a hard time having a private space. The paparazzi are always watching wherever they are, some people maliciously crop their images, spreading bad rumors that smear their honor. Most especially, when they make mistakes or are just unnecessary misunderstandings, they have to face insults, criticisms that threaten the lives of themselves and their families. There are many cases of celebrities being affected by cyber violence psychologically, spiritually, and even with their lives. Sulli is a typical example, the 25-year-old actress was psychologically affected and chose to commit suicide because she often received many negative comments on social networks. For personally, being a celebrity is never easy. Young people can dream of becoming famous, but don't let that desire to be famous affect your life as well as your studies, develop yourself holistically. In conclusion, after reading the above essay, I think everyone already knows the advantages and disadvantages of being a celebrity. Fame makes it possible for people to improve their lives and achieve their goals, but if they want to receive a high income and be loved and supported by many people, they must also accept difficulties, challenges, and have spiritual strength to face pressure from public opinion and not get caught up in the temptations of the entertainment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
aspire to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
in various fields,
particularly
entertainment. Fame seems to appeal to everyone and
above all
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
or become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
is becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
as easy as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's take a look at the biggest advantages and disadvantages of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
in the entertainment industry.

The
first
thing that needs to
be mentioned
is the positives of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
. One obvious benefit that popularity brings is a high level of income. The amount of money earned from movies or TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times greater than the salary of ordinary workers and officials.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
such as actors, singers, or models can
easily
earn super-profitable advertising contracts, becoming the face of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands. Whereby, they can secure their finances,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
real estate, and travel wherever if they want.
For example
, Korean actor Kim
Possible spelling mistake found.
Soo
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hyun
can earn a huge salary of 423, 000 USD per episode of 'One Ordinary Day' an amount that ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
.
In addition
, they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know elite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them grow and
especially
have fans who always accompany,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, and support them this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
are interesting and meaningful.

Besides
the benefits, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
disadvantages. The most prominent is that their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
are violated
. Every job or behavior is
constantly
updated on Facebook, Instagram, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time having a private space. The paparazzi are always watching wherever they are,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
maliciously
crop their images, spreading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
rumors that smear their honor. Most
especially
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes or are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
unnecessary misunderstandings, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face insults, criticisms that threaten the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of themselves and their families. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by cyber violence
psychologically
,
spiritually
, and even with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sulli
is a typical example, the 25-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
actress was
psychologically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and chose to commit suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
received
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
comments on social networks.

For
personally
, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is never easy. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can dream of becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
that desire to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
affect your life
as well
as your studies, develop yourself
holistically
.

In conclusion
, after reading the above essay, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everyone already knows the advantages and disadvantages of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
. Fame
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and achieve their goals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they want to receive a high income and be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
and supported by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
accept difficulties, challenges, and have spiritual strength to face pressure from public opinion and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught up in the temptations of the entertainment.
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IELTS essay Many young people nowadays want to become famous in different fields, especially in entertainment. Write an essay to an educated reader about the advantages and disadvantages of becoming a famous person and give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
471 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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